To Love and to Cherish
by quinnovative
Summary: A series of one shots following "In Sickness and in Health," but can be read alone too. Beckett and Castle adjust to life with their twins.
1. Glow in the Dark

**A/N:** Hello, I'm back with promised sequel (and on time for once!) This story will be a series of one shots following "In Sickness and in Health_," _but it can definitely be read alone too. I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated. Also, feel free to send me messages with one shot requests/suggestions for this story.

* * *

Kate slumped against the elevator wall, her eyes closed as she drew nearer to the loft. Exhaustion numbed her mind and body as she forced herself to straighten up. Finally, a ding signaled that she'd reached the top floor. A yawn escaped her lips as she stepped over the threshold and entered the hallway.

Her legs mindlessly carried her forward as her brain looped through the day's events: a five a.m. body drop, an hour at the crime scene, a few more spent chasing down leads and suspects, two interrogations, sifting through bank accounts and old files… still nothing.

At ten past seven, she'd managed to convince Esposito and Ryan to go home. She left shortly after them, the case was going nowhere. It'd be there in the morning, she eventually decided.

Now, half an hour later she was standing outside the loft, her fingers curling around the doorknob as she turned it and pulled her keys from the lock. She'd hurried home with hopes that her kids would still be awake. Each day brought new joys and surprises. The twins were turning into such wonderful little people. She hated the days she didn't get to see them. The guilty feeling knotted in her stomach. It always did when she was stuck playing tug-of-war between her job and her family.

On the days Madeline and Max didn't have school, Rick stayed home with them. They were lucky he was able to do that, but still, Kate hated missing out on that time with them. They were growing up so quickly. She didn't want to miss a single second.

As soon as she entered the loft, the sight before her alleviated the drag of fatigue. Rick was in the middle of a twin sandwich. The trio was snuggled beneath a green blanket as _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets _played on the TV. At the sound of the door opening, all three heads peered over. Madeline and Max leapt off the couch and bounded toward Kate.

She stepped out of her shoes and slipped off her coat, just in time to bend down with outstretched arms. Both kids crashed against her sides.

"Hey guys," she said, a smile illuminating her face. The presence of the twins uplifting her spirit immediately. "How was your day?"

"Good," they chorused back. "I missed you though," Madeline said, leaning against Kate, resting her head against her mom's shoulder.

"So did I," Max added, giving Kate a bright little grin.

"I missed you too," Kate said, pressing a kiss to each of their heads. "I hope Daddy wasn't too crazy," she continued while she stood up, winking at Rick as he walked over.

With a twin holding each hand, Kate moved toward him, eager to close the space between them. Now that he'd been at the precinct for so long, it felt empty on the days he wasn't there making jokes and spouting ridiculous theories.

"Since it's Friday, Daddy said we could have ice cream _and _stay up past our bed time."

"Oh did he?" Kate asked, amusement coloring her words, flickering across her features.

"He might have," Rick said, appearing by her side and sliding an arm around her waist. She met his eyes and leaned in for a quick kiss, falling in love all over again with the way his lips felt when they were pressed atop hers. Her hands found their way to his shoulders and she pulled him closer.

Madeline made a large show of coughing and Max's voice pulled the couple back to the present, blush profusely tinting their checks. They _really _needed to pull together some self-control if they were going to remain in the company of their kids.

"Mommy? Daddy?" Max was looking up at them with big, innocent eyes. "You're kind of blocking the TV, and Harry's about to get the snitch."

Rick and Kate laughed softly. "Sorry, buddy," she said and stepped to the side, pulling Rick with her.

"Later," she whispered, brushing her lips against his ear. A shiver raced down his spine, God, this woman would be the death of him.

Pulling his hand with hers, she guided him to the kitchen and pulled out four bowls. "Were they okay today?" she asked.

"Yeah, they're good kids. My mother came over this morning and later I took them to the park for a little, we had fun. They just miss you when you're gone, it's natural."

Kate sighed. "I know, but I still feel guilty."

"Hey, they know that your job is important and they know that you love them. Everything's going to be okay.

"You're right," she said, pressing her head against his chest. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too," Rick said as ran a hand over her hair. "Let's get this ice cream to the twins before they get all antsy."

His words elicited a laugh from Kate as she straightened up and grabbed two bowls. "I don't think ice cream's going to reduce the energy levels."

"Eh, who cares at this point," Rick said as they handed out ice cream and plopped on the couch.

By the time the credits scrolled across the screen, the bowls of cookie dough ice cream had been discarded on the coffee table and there was a twin situated in the laps of each of their parents.

Rick was asleep, snoring lightly as Max cuddled in his lap. Kate played with Madeline's hair and leaned over so she could look them in the eyes. "You two ready for bed?"

"I'm not even tired yet," Max said, wiggling upward with a yawn.

Kate raised her eyebrows at him. "Is that so?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"Hmm, well it looks like Daddy's tired, and I think Maddie is too," Kate said as the little girl snuggled tighter, her eyes closing.

"No I'm not," she muttered against Kate's collarbone, causing the detective's lips to curve into a smile.

"How about you two go upstairs and brush your teeth, then we'll meet in Max's room tonight for a bedtime story?"

"Okay!" they said and scrambled up stairs. Kate shook her head, she'd never seen two kids so consistently excited over bedtime stories.

After waking Rick, changing into pajamas and brushing teeth, the pair made their way to Max's room. Rick pushed back the cracked door.

Their two kids were snuggled on the bed, each inside sleeping bags. One green and one blue. On the floor were two larger black sleeping bags and four flashlights sitting in a pile.

"What's this?" Kate asked.

"We decided to have a sleepover!" Max said, squirming out of his bag and bouncing on the bed.

Madeline followed her brother's movement, racing toward their parents. "We wanted to invite you guys!"

Rick caught Kate's eyes then looked back at the twins. "I am so in," he said, "But why don't we move into our bedroom, it's bigger?"

"You can't see the stars in there," Max said matter-of-factly.

"What stars?" Rick asked, receiving a nudge from his smirking wife. She titled her head upward. Rick followed her gaze, his eyes meeting the glow-in-the-dark plastic stars that speckled the ceiling and scattered across the walls.

"Oh wow, Grams help you put these up?" Rick asked.

Max nodded.

"They're in my room too!" Madeline said.

"I think they're very cool." Kate knelt down so she was level with the kids.

"And I think Max is right. It looks like we're in here for the night."

"Really?" Madeline asked, looking up at Rick, her eyes wide with excitement. Her feet shuffled and she jumped, unable to contain her delight. Her brown hair fell in waves, framing her small face. Hazel eyes were sparkling back at him when Max appeared by his sister's side, his own visage matching hers.

"Just for tonight," Kate finally said, the twins attention being drawn back to her, "Because I haven't seen you guys all day and I miss my little M&amp;Ms."

Max and Madeline giggled, their laughs were so innocent, so dulcet, they made Kate temporarily forget about the murders and the cases. For now, in this moment, she was with her twins and her husband. She was with her family and everything felt like it was going to be okay.

Within fifteen minutes, Rick had found an air mattress in the closet down the hall, from the same bin -R_ick's emergency camping kit_—that the twins had grabbed the sleeping bags. It was set up on the floor of Max's room, outfitted in an extra set of sheets.

"Think we're all going to fit?" Rick asked.

"I think we can squeeze," Kate said, sending him a quick wink as she snuggled beneath the blanket. The twins nestled up against her immediately. Rick flicked off the lights and joined the group.

The ceiling came to life with greenish yellow stars. "Whoa," Max breathed, "It's so cool."

"The coolest," Madeline repeated.

"Should we call Grams tomorrow and thank her?" Rick asked.

"We should call her now," Madeline said, the glowing stars dimly illuminating the smile that spread across her face.

"I think it's a little late right now," he said and felt her little shoulders shrug in response.

"I love you, Dad. I love you, Mom," she said.

"Love you, Maddie," they replied. "Love you, Max."

"I love you, Mom and Dad."

Kate felt affection pulsing through her body, warming her heart. With a kid on each side, she felt so content. As twins, they were double the trouble, but also twice as nice. She wrinkled her nose at the cliché statement, despite the saying, her lips curved in the darkness. She really loved getting used to this.


	2. Push

A soft patter of rain sprinkled the playground of Max and Madeline's elementary school, located a few blocks away from the 12th precinct. After finishing their reading lesson for the day, the kids flooded the playground for half an hour of recess. Madeline and Max had gladly slipped away to the swings in the far corner of the gated area. Their friend, Sophia, fell in step beside them.

Madeline and Sophia had settled onto the swings, squirming across the rubber until they were comfortable. Just as Max was about to sit on the swing beside his sister, Luke raced over and knocked him down. Max's feet slipped from beneath him as he plopped onto the ground in a shallow puddle, water dampening the edge of his khaki pants.

Madeline watched from her swing, perched on the edge as her brows furrowed. After a minute, Max straightened up and wiped some pebbles from the palms of his hands.

"Excuse me," he said softly, his heart racing. "I was there first."

Luke shrugged. "So?"

Anger bubbled in her chest. Without thought, she pushed off her seat. Her Mary-Jane clad feet met the pavement with a soft tap. Water splashed around her feet as she stomped over to Luke. She stood in front of him and propped her hands up on her hips.

"He was there first, Luke."

"Says who?"

"I do. Max and Sophia know too."

Luke laughed. "What are you going to do about it? You can't tell Mrs. Harper, that'd make you a tattletale."

As she huffed, Max leaned toward her. "It's not a big deal, Maddie."

"I got it," she muttered, waving a hand at him.

"Just listen to your brother, _Maddie,"_ Luke said, emphasizing her nickname in a way she couldn't stand. He jumped off the swing and walked forward.

Her small fingers curled into fists as she bit the inside of her cheek. She had to tilt her head to keep eye contact, but she refused to drop her glare. His derisive laugh rang through Madeline's head as he stepped even closer.

"Come on, Max. Do you need your sister to do _everything _for you?"

The words pushed her over the edge, she moved toward him and pressed her hands against Luke's chest, giving him a hard shove. He stumbled backward, tripping over the pole of the swing set and hitting the ground.

Immediately she knew she shouldn't have done it, her parents had warned her about keeping her hands to herself and not letting her emotions get the best of her. Guilt tightened in her stomach as hot tears began brimming her eyes. She blinked them away, refusing to cry in front of her class.

She stepped toward Luke, Max peeking over her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she asked, "I didn't mean to knock you over." She offered her hand. "I'm sorry you fell."

He swatted her extended arm with a scowl, beginning to cry just as Mrs. Harper walked over.

…

Kate grabbed her coat and slipped it over her shoulders. "Ready, Castle?" she called to his form where it stood in front of the murder board.

He turned toward her, an excited smile lighting up his features. "It's time to grab 'em already?"

"Yep," she said, threading her arm through his as she pulled them toward the elevator. "Any special plans for tonight with the twins?" Kate asked as they were lowered to the ground floor.

"I think we're in need of another Uno tournament as soon as their homework is finished. Honestly, they're getting too good for me."

"Maybe you're just getting old." Kate looked up at him, glimmering eyes and smirking lips, she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm only kidding, of course," she added a moment later. She grinned and stopped walking for a minute, pressing against the pavement with her toes and leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Rick shook his head. "It's so cute and so unfair when you do that. How am I supposed to stay offended?"

Kate shrugged and fished the car keys from her purse. "I doubt you could look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love it."

"Is that a challenge, detective?"

"You tell me, writer boy."

…

Kate and Rick had just entered the classroom to sign Madeline and Max out, when Mrs. Harper pulled them aside.

"Is everything okay?" Rick asked when they had moved to the edge of the room.

Mrs. Harper nodded, blonde curls swaying. "It's not really a big deal, but I wanted to make sure you knew—there was an incident on the playground today between Madeline and a boy, Luke."

"An incident?"

"I'm still trying to determine exactly what happened since I'm hearing two different stories; however, it appears that Luke did something to provoke Madeline and she pushed him."

Both parents' eyebrows rose.

"Madeline pushed?" Kate asked, her voice incredulous.

Mrs. Harper nodded. "I thought it was strange considering she's never caused trouble before."

"All right, well thanks for letting us know," Rick said. "We'll talk to her about it."

"I think that'd be a good idea. I really do enjoy having both your kids in my class. They're very bright."

"Thank you. I know they enjoy being in your class."

Mrs. Harper smiled. "If you want to sign them out, I'll go grab them. I think they're just playing with some of the other kids."

"What do we say to Maddie?" Kate whispered to Rick as soon as Mrs. Harper left. "We've never had a problem like this before."

"I don't think we should pry at first. See if she says anything, and if not we'll bring it up when we get to the loft?" he asked just as the kids came over. Kate gave him a quick nod.

The twins' little bodies looked even smaller with their large backpacks draped over their shoulders, bouncing as they teetered toward Kate and Rick, lunchboxes dangling from their hands.

On their walk to the car, both parents immediately noticed that something was wrong with Madeline. Their usually loquacious daughter was quiet and barely answered their questions about her day. As Kate was helping Madeline into the car, she couldn't take it anymore.

Kate squatted down so her eyes were level with the girl's. "What's a matter, sweetie?"

Madeline's lower lip quivered as tears formed in her eyes. Before she could stop them, they spilled over. The girl's frame shook violently with sobs.

"Talk to me, honey." Kate said softly, running a gentle hand up and down her daughter's arm.

Rick noticed the exchange and tasked Max with finding the perfect radio station. Meanwhile, Rick climbed out of the car and stood beside Kate.

Madeline sniffled and dropped her gaze. "We were on the playground and I pushed Luke and he fell." More tears poured down her cheeks.

"Why'd you push him?" Rick asked.

" 'Cause he was being mean." She gasped for breath between sobs, and Kate could feel her own heart twisting in her chest.

"What was he doing?"

Max, who'd been watching rather intently from the car window, cracked the door open. "She was just helping me."

The trio looked over at him.

"I was at the swing first and Luke pushed me out of the way and took my seat. We asked him to give it back, but he just laughed."

Rick nodded along, following his son's words. "Thanks, buddy." Rick moved his gaze back to Madeline as Max shut the door again. "Is that true?"

The little girl nodded and tried in vain to push the tears from her cheeks. "I didn't mean to hurt him. I just wanted him to leave me and Max alone," she whispered, toeing the ground with her Mary-Jane shoes, her eyes cloudy and red-rimmed. She hung her head, looking entirely disappointed with herself.

"Hey, Maddie girl, look at me, okay?" Kate said softly, tilting her daughter's chin up. "It wasn't nice of you to hit him, you know better than that. But I'm still glad that you stood up for yourself and Max. That takes a lot of courage. Just next time someone is being mean, no hitting, all right?"

"It's perfectly okay to go tell Mrs. Harper if someone's not being nice or you can just ignore them. Whatever feels right, so long as you keep your hands to yourself and don't do anything hurtful," Rick added.

Madeline nodded tearfully. "I'm going to go make sure Max is okay," Rick said, brushing Madeline's hair gently before standing up and sliding into the car.

Kate leaned forward and wiped the tears from her daughter's face, pressing a feather light kiss to the girl's forehead.

"We're not mad at you, baby bird," Kate said, rubbing the girl's trembling back. "Can I have a hug?"

Madeline nodded and fell into Kate's arms.

"I'm really sorry," the little girl murmured into the crook of her mom's neck.

"Sometimes we make mistakes, but you learn from them and that's what matters."

Madeline looked up with a watery smile. "Like when Daddy tried to microwave the s'more but it exploded and made a mess. So he learned not to microwave marshmallows."

Kate smiled. "Exactly like Daddy's marshmallow catastrophe."

The little girl giggled and wrinkled her nose. "It was sticky." Then she nestled back against Kate, hugging her tightly. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, baby."

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**A/N:** Special thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! You guys are the best. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I should have the next one shot up soon. It'll be less fluffy and more Beckett/Castle centered as they work to find a balance between work and family. I've been planning it for the past few days and I'm really excited to finally get it written and posted.


	3. Choosing to Stay (Part 1)

**A/N: **Whoa, this chapter ended up being a long one for you guys! Just for reference, the twins are younger in this chapter than in the previous ones, around 4/5 years old. Also, just so you know when the twins talk their grammar isn't perfect because they're little, so those mistakes are intentional. If you find any others though, feel free to point them out. :)

* * *

Finger paints and glitter dotted the newspaper covered table. Madeline and Max sat on wooden chairs, their sock covered feet dangling over the edge, swinging freely. They'd spent the previous hour whispering and giggling as they smeared color across their pages and swirled in glitter.

"All right, guys," Rick said as he came over, having just finished another chapter of his newest Nikki Heat novel. "Let's clean up here and start brushing teeth."

"Please can we stay up a little later?" Madeline asked. Beside her, Max nodded eagerly in agreement, only to be betrayed by a yawn. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, smudging blue paint across his cheek.

Rick laughed softly. "Not tonight, sweetheart."

He closed the paint bottles and helped the twins take off the newspaper.

"What'd you two paint?"

"Since we made pictures for you earlier, we made some for Mom this time. "

"That was nice of you," he said with a smile.

Madeline grinned. "Look," she said and pointed to her construction paper. "I drew Mommy tucking us in."

"Me too," Max said, popping beside Rick and leaning against him. Rick felt guilt growing inside him, it was becoming more and more evident each day that Kate's nights of working late were starting to impact the kids.

"Is she going to be home in time for a bedtime story?" Madeline asked as she returned the paint and glitter to their appropriate drawers. "She promised me and Max that she'd read us our new book from Alexis."

"I don't know," Rick said, keeping the frustration out of his voice for the sake of his kids. Kate working late was happening too often. She'd been good about coming home on time regularly for a while, but lately it seemed like she was getting pulled away by work again. "Should we call and find out where she's at?"

The twins nodded enthusiastically, bouncing beside him. Rick smiled and lifted both of them so they were seated atop the kitchen island before dialing Kate.

The fourth ring was interrupted by her voice, hard and professional. "Beckett."

Rick almost rolled his eyes. He loved her and he loved that she loved her work, but they missed her and this nightly routine was growing too familiar. "It's just us, Kate. We're wondering if you're coming home soon."

Her exhausted sigh carried over the line and he almost felt bad enough to let her absence slide one more time.

"I want to be there, I really do, but you know this case is high profile. There was a homicide's been connected with the kidnapping of the wife of another detective from the arson unit. NYPD wants everyone working it. If we don't find her in the next few hours her chances of survival decrease significantly. It's too important for me to leave now."

Rick sucked in a frustrated breath before signaling to the kids that he'd be back in a few minutes. He disappeared into his office and pulled the door closed.

"More important than your kids, Kate? Than your family?"

Back at the precinct, Kate ran a hand through her hair and leaned against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut in a futile attempt to fight off her impending headache. "You know that's not what I said, Rick."

She hated this. Hated that they were fighting, that she wasn't there for her kids. She loved her family more than her job, more than anything. So why was it so hard for her to drop a case and just go home?"

"It doesn't matter what you said. What matters is that you're there and not here. Again. The twins notice, Kate. They miss you. You promised that you'd read their new book to them tonight."

Kate felt her heart lurch. He was right, everything he'd said had been right and it stung. She couldn't keep doing this. Couldn't keep burying her feelings away, losing herself in work when things were too much. In a week it'd be the anniversary of her mother's murder. This time of year always consisted of locking her heart away, withdrawing, and acting a little more recklessly than usual, anything to dampen the sharp edge. No matter how much stronger she felt, she wasn't able to shake the weight of her mom's death. But maybe this time, she could.

She let out another sigh, disappointed in herself. "You know what? You're right, Castle. I'm sorry. Tell Maddie and Max I'm sorry too and that I'll be home soon. I just need to—" She paused for a moment, and over the line he heard an unfamiliar voice.

"Detective Beckett, we were able to track a location from the ransom call. We're heading out now. Gates want you there. Says it's nonnegotiable."

Rick could picture her, mouth pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed in thought as she weighed both sides. Both of her obligations calling her, tugging her, pulling her in different directions. If this carried on she might break in half.

Then she was back, asking the officer how long everything would take.

"Shouldn't be too long. The location is close. Your captain says you can go home immediately after."

A sigh of resignation met Rick's ears. Next her voice, wavering and hesitant, pleading and desperate. He hadn't heard it like that in a long time. She sounded small, on the verge of tears. If he wasn't sure of the words that were about to follow, he would have felt bad for her. He knew she was in a tough place, but it didn't make sense to him. How could she ever chose work over them?

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Castle. I really am. Can you wait for an hour and half with them? I'll get out of here as soon as I can."

"You could leave now." Rick answered. His voice becoming hard and cold.

"I can't walk away and you know it. I can't just leave an innocent person stranded."

"Can't, or don't want to? You know there are other people who could do it."

"Gates specifically asked for me, Castle. This is my job."

He pushed papers around his desk, anything to take away from the irritation swirling inside him. "You don't always have to be the hero, Kate. I just—" His voice softened and he paused, as though waiting to stitch the perfect sentence together. To carefully pick the words that would mend the situation, but when he spoke again, his voice was back to icy steel. "You know, just do whatever you want Kate, but don't complain to me when the kids resent you and you're stuck reliving all the times you should've been there."

"Wait, Castle. I…"

"Save it, Kate," he finished, stabbing the 'end call' button.

"I love you guys," she said, only to meet the empty static of the dial tone. She slumped further against the wall, her frame curling in defeat. She dropped her head into her hands and wiped at a hot, angry tear. For a moment she was completely oblivious to the officer beside her.

"Um, Detective, are you all right?" he asked.

She jumped up, mortified as blush crept up her cheeks. "I'm fine," she answered. "Let's go catch the bastard."

…

Castle hadn't been able to sleep. Despite his frustration he'd waited up an hour. Then another before he gave up on rest and headed to his office, hoping to pass time with writing. They needed talk. It was nagging him, because in a way, both of them were at fault. As the night hours waned and turned to early morning, he felt concern gnawing at his anger. He was about to give in and call her when a little body entered through the doorway.

"Daddy?" Max asked softly, his brown hair mused and sticking up.

"What's up, buddy?" Rick said, pushing back his chair as the toddler teetered toward him.

"I had a bad dream." He inserted himself into his dad's open arms. Rick swooped him up and settled the little boy in his lap.

"What happened?"

"It was dark and there were monsters. You, me, and Madeline were stuck and we needed Mommy, but she wasn't there."

Rick felt exasperation swell inside him. It wasn't her intention, he knew that, she was a wonderful mother, but Kate not being there was hurting their kids. Despite his vexation, Rick refused to provide Max with anything besides reassurance. He didn't want the twins to see how difficult and complicated things were becoming.

He brushed some hair off of Max's forehead. "It was just a dream, Mom's always going to be there when we need her."

"I know," Max said, resting against Rick's shoulder.

"You're stuck with us for a long time," Rick teased, tickling Max's side. The boy shrieked and giggled, squirming away from Rick.

"Daddy, stop," he panted, a bright grin lighting up his face.

"You ready to go back to bed?" Rick asked.

Max nodded. "But you have to check for monsters first."

"Should we get the lightsabers just in case we need to fight anything off?"

"Of course, Daddy," Max said as though it was obvious.

The Castle in these kids was really starting to shine through.

After retrieving lightsabers from the closet, checking under the bed, and eventually waiting for Max to fall back asleep, Rick was on his way to the bedroom. He was furious with Kate. She should have called if she was going to be home late and she needed to call if she didn't plan on coming home at all that night. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to the twins.

Just as he was drifting off, a shrill ring from his cell phone woke him. The only person who'd be calling him right now would be her. His arm poked out from beneath the sheets as he fumbled around the bedside table. Without opening his eyes, he answered the call and brought the device to his ear.

"Damn it, Kate. Don't you think it's a little too late to call now?" He couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. "The twins have been asleep for hours, even though they insisted on waiting up for you."

"Castle," the other voice interrupted him.

"Max had a nightmare. You weren't…" He stopped midsentence, finally realizing that the person on the line wasn't her.

"Ryan?" he asked, too tired and frustrated to apologize.

"Yeah, hey, Castle. It's Ryan. Look, something happened when we tried to get the guy. Beckett's hurt, we're on our way to the hospital now."

Rick could barely choke out the words to ask for the hospital address, to ask if she was okay.

After a few frantic decisions Rick piled the twins into the back seat of their car and sped toward the hospital. With Martha and Jim out of town, and Alexis interning in D.C., there was no one to take the twins.

…

Rick rushed into the hospital room, his eyes falling on Kate's form beneath the hospital sheets.

"Oh my God, Kate," he whispered, walking toward her.

Her eyes cracked open, it looked like she was in pain, but she was breathing and he was thankful for that. She leaned her head against the back of her pillow and screwed her eyes shut, blocking out the bright hospital lights.

"Are you okay?" he asked, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, his anger dissipating.

She flinched and recoiled at his touch, the pounding in her head making everything cloudy and sore. "I'm fine, I'm fine," she muttered softly, sleepily. "It wasn't a big deal."

Rick stepped back, his frustration returning. "Maybe it wasn't a big deal for you, but did you think about us, Kate? Do you know how many horrible scenarios were running through my head when I got the call that you were in the hospital? Did you think about Madeline and Max?" His voice was trembling and rising with each word. "They're terrified that their mom is hurt. Kate, I know this is hard, but I need you to listen to what I'm saying, just hear me, please. You're not by yourself anymore, when you're hurt, we all hurt."

She peeked her eyes open and saw tears in his as he paced, a hand pushing back his hair.

"We need you, Kate. We just want to make sure you're safe and right now, you're hurting all of us. How can you continually decide to stay at work when your kids need you? It's your job, but all the overtime isn't. It's _not _your job to be the last one there every night."

Painfully, she inched herself up so she was in a sitting position. "You don't think I'm trying?" she whispered. "You don't think I feel guilty every single time I'm at work and not at home?" Her voice rose to a tearful yell. "I miss them too."

"Then why do you continue to stay at work? Every time you're not there for dinner or baths or bedtime stories you're hurting them and one day you're going to regret it." He shook his head and stopped pacing to look up at her. His eyes met her hazel ones, red-rimmed and swollen. "Why aren't you yelling at me anymore?" he asked.

She blinked slowly and eased herself back down into a lying position. "Because you're right and I deserve everything you're saying. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry but I have no idea how to change. I don't know how to fix this."

A knock interrupted their conversation. Esposito peeked through the door. He gave a quick wave to Beckett, politely deciding to ignore her tear streaked face, then looked at Rick. "Castle, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Rick wavered at the foot of her hospital bed, before turning and following Esposito into the hallway.

"Espo, what happened?"

He sighed. "I don't know, man. We were in the building trying to get our guy, name's Turner. Anyway, we're in the middle of the room and someone spots Turner in the corner. Beckett just freezes, I've never seen her like that. I asked her what was wrong and she said she needed to get out and get home to you guys. The suspect must have seen her panic because he sprung out of his position and grabbed her, took her as a hostage since he lost his gun. This dude just lost it, he started slamming her against the wall, kicking her and hitting her. He knew he was going down so he wanted to take someone with him. He was smart about it though and made it hard to get a shot off without hitting Beckett. Finally Ryan got him."

Rick dropped his gaze. "What happened then? How was she?"

"Not good, bro. She was conscious but totally foggy and not really with it. She tried to talk her way out of going to the hospital, insisted on going straight home to see you and the twins, but the doctors made her go. Hell, if they didn't, we would have. Your girl really scared us today."

"I really messed up. I need to go talk to her."

"You should probably let her rest for a bit. The doctor said she's got a concussion and a couple of bruised ribs. I've been with her though, and her headache seems pretty bad."

"It can't wait."

Esposito nodded and opened the door for Rick. "I called Lanie, she said she's coming to check on Beckett, then she can take the twins for the night if you want."

"That'd be great," Rick answered, "Thank you, guys."

Esposito shrugged. "It's no big deal. You take care of her, okay?"

Rick gave him a quick smile before disappearing into Kate's room.

He knocked softly against the wall until she looked up. Their silence said so much more than words could. After a few long and awkward seconds, they both looked up, making eye contact.

"I'm sorry," they blurted out in unison.

Kate shifted her gaze back to her hands. Rick spoke up first. "I shouldn't have yelled and I shouldn't have said a lot of the things I said, because they weren't true. It's just been hard lately. The twins miss you and I miss you, but it's not your fault. We're just selfish and want you to ourselves all the time," he smirked at her, a glimmer returning to his eye. "I don't ever want to make you feel guilty for doing your job, but I did and I'm really sorry for that. Your job's important and you've made the world safer. You help people and I don't want to take that from you. I overreacted and I'm sorry."

Kate shook her head. "I need to be home more. I'm still figuring out how to let go of work and feel okay to come home without leaving a part of myself at the precinct. I've been trying, I really have. I guess I just need some help."

"Help is good," Rick said from his perch at the foot of her bed, he placed a warm hand on her shin and she felt strong with him closer. "Help is something I can do my best to provide."

Things were always better when they were on the same team. Kate smiled at him, lifting her arm from beneath the sheets and reaching towards him. Their fingers bumped and she curled hers between his. He gave a gentle squeeze, this was something he'd missed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm okay. Hurts a little, but I'll survive. I'm sorry I scared you," she added quietly, tears gathering in her eyes.

Rick stood up and moved closer so he was by her face. He gently brushed her cheek. "It's okay. You're okay and that's all that matters right now."

She leaned forward until their lips met, her arm wrapped around his neck as she pulled him closer. His hand moved behind her head, softly bunching her hair.

"I love you," she mumbled against his lips as their salty tears mingled.

"I love you too," he said, deepening the kiss.

They pulled apart for a quick breath when a knock on the door drew their attention.

"Come in," Rick called.

Kate sniffled and Rick pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you so much," he whispered as the door cracked open.

Lanie walked in with a twin holding each hand. The kids' faces lit up at the sight of Kate. "We wanted to see how you were doing before I take these two back to my place," Lanie explained.

"Thank you," Kate said. "I owe you one."

The other woman laughed. "Are you kidding, girl? You know I'd do anything to get Madeline and Max for the night. I'm glad you're okay though." She leaned in for a quick hug before returning to the waiting room, letting them know to get her when it was time to grab the twins.

At the foot of Kate's bed, the twins were squirming antsily. "What are you guys waiting for?" Kate asked, her lips curving into a smirk. "I need a hug."

The kids darted from their position and scrambled up the sides. Rick watched as Kate grimaced when a little elbow knocked her rib. "Hey, guys, be careful. Mom's still a bit hurt."

"Oh," Madeline said, moving cautiously and comically slow as she eased herself against Kate's side. "Sorry."

Kate smoothed her daughter's hair. "It's no big deal."

"Were you fighting bad guys again?"

"I guess you could say that. Yeah."

They laid in comfortable silence while the doctor popped in to cover some quick medical concerns with Rick and Kate.

"Mommy?" Max spoke up when the doctor had left.

"Yeah?" Kate said as she lazily ran her fingers through his hair.

"Maddie and me were talking and we decided that you're our favorite superhero."

The detective smiled as a rosy color tinted her cheeks. She buried her face behind Madeline's hair. "I'm nothing special," she mumbled. "I just do my job."

"But your job is fighting evil, so you _are _a superhero," Madeline said.

"Your mom's being humble," Rick said, taking a seat next to the bed. "She's my favorite superhero too."

Kate raised her gaze to meet his eyes, and the smirk on his lips and love radiating from him told her everything would be okay. He leaned forward and captured Kate's lips in a kiss, only encouraged by their kids' feigned disgust.

An hour later, the energetic hum of the hospital room had faded, Kate and Rick being the only ones left. Lanie had taken the kids and given the parents a lecture on the severity of head injuries and bruised ribs. Ryan and Esposito had also popped in to say goodbye.

"It might hurt a little, but I could really use a hug from you right now," Kate said shyly.

Rick smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

He leaned forward and gently wrapped his arms around her frame. She threaded her hands around his shoulders. Slowly, he closed the gap between them, her heart beating against his chest. They stayed like that for a minute until Rick felt tears dampening his shirt. He pulled back just enough so he could see her face. "Hey, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head and sniffled. "No, it's not that. I don't know why I'm crying so much today. I just feel so guilty and when I was in that room all I could think about was you and the twins, and I was terrified. Terrified that I was messing up, that I was going to die in there and my kids would only remember being disappointed in me because I was never there." She hiccupped as a sob racked her shoulders.

"No, no, Kate. It would never turn out that way. Of course they miss you, but you're there more often than you're not, and that's what they're going to remember. They love you so much, Kate, and nothing's going to change that."

"But what am I going to do?" she cried. "I can't keep this up."

"We'll figure out. We can get through this, whatever challenges face us. I spoke with Gates earlier and we have at least a week off, maybe more depending on how quickly you heal. We'll talk about. Everything's going to be okay."

"Okay," she replied, fully confident that he was right.

"Get some rest and try not to worry about it too much."

She nodded, already beginning to fade. "You're staying, right?" she whispered, her fingers curving around the hem of his shirt.

"Of course," he said. "I'll be right by your side for as long as you'll let me."

"Always?" she asked. Moonlight illuminated the soft curve of her lips as they formed a small smile.

"Always."

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**A/N: **Thanks for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following! I was excited for this chapter, then a little nervous about posting it. I hope you enjoyed it. It's a little different than how I usually write Castle and Beckett so let me know if you liked it or not. I felt like having some challenges in their relationship and family life would be natural, so I went for it. I would've had it up earlier, but I'm traveling and my wifi has been pretty unstable. One more thing- I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I might put out a multi-chapter fic in which Beckett gets hurt and Castle takes care of her and all that fluffy stuff… we'll see. Thanks again, I can't express how happy you guys make me!


	4. Choosing to Stay (Part 2)

**A/N:** Per a few requests, I decided to extend the last chapter into this one. It's a little angsty and sad, but no need to fear- I'll make sure that the next one-shot is a happy one. I'd like to thank everyone for their incredible responses. You guys make my heart so happy. One last thing, with the end of the school year approaching, I'm becoming increasingly busy with projects, finals, and essays, so updates will probably be less frequent for a little while. I'll still do my best to post, but just know that I'm not abandoning this story. If you ever want to send in chapter requests/prompts feel free to do so. Anyway, enough rambling, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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Rick knocked on the bedroom door and waited for a response. When he was met with silence he peeked his head inside. She was asleep again, looking delicate and distressed. In retrospect he hadn't seen her looking peaceful for the past few weeks. She'd been weighed down with cases lately, coming home later each night. At the time he'd been blinded by frustration, but now as the memories came flooding back, he saw her dragging a little more each day; her smile growing smaller, the sparkle of her eyes dulling. Consumed by exhaustion, she was collapsing into bed each night with a sigh heavier than before.

Something else had to be bothering her. He wanted to slap himself for being so oblivious. Maybe he could have prevented it, but he _had_ been busy with the twins, carting them around to preschool and playdates. He still made an effort to pop into the precinct every day she was there, but his visits had grown shorter. Some days he arrived and found her desk empty, leaving reluctantly when Ryan or Esposito informed him that she was out following a lead. It felt like they were seeing each other less and less. He missed her voice, her laugh, her smile, but mostly he just missed her.

They were quite the disaster at the moment. He sighed and leaned against the doorframe. Just when you get comfortable, life has a way of mixing things up again.

He allowed himself another minute of contemplation before moving toward her sleeping form, water, painkillers from the hospital and an ice pack in his hands for her ribs.

Through all their challenges and struggles he still loved her. If he was being honest with himself, he'd loved her since that very first day and he hadn't stopped, but recently it felt like they were on separate downward spirals, tumbling toward a crash and burn if nothing intervened; maybe this was their chance. Their intervention.

This was their turning point; it was fly or fall.

They'd arrived home from the hospital a few hours earlier, and as reluctant as he was to wake her, he knew she needed to take her medicine and he'd been advised to rouse her from sleep every two to three hours on the first day back. He approached slowly and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Kate," he whispered.

Her eyes inched open. She blinked for a moment, confusion tugging at her features, until cognizance fell over her. "Hey," she said softly, moving to sit up.

Gently, he pressed a hand against her shoulder, easing her body back against the pillow. "Easy, Kate, you're going to hurt yourself more."

"I'm fine," she mumbled.

Rick raised his eyebrows and gently put the ice on her abdomen. She winced slightly, a sharp breath escaping from her lips. He immediately stopped what he was doing and decided now wasn't the time for ''I-told-you-so." She wasn't fine.

"Here take these," he said, offering her the painkillers and a glass of water.

She took them quickly and conveyed her thanks, before she felt her eyes dropping. It was already growing late and she felt exhausted between her bruising and concussion, her body ached and her mind felt numb. Nervous energy buzzed through her, and despite her desire to sleep, the need to smooth things over with Rick was overpowering.

He was busying himself with mindless straightening and neatening of their bedroom.

"Hey, Castle?" she pulled his attention. "Can we talk now?"

He looked over and contemplated her question. He studied her fatigued form, the messy hair and tired eyes. "Not yet, Kate. You're hurting too much right now. Try to rest for a few more hours."

She sighed dramatically. "You're still mad at me, I can tell."

"I'm not… not anymore. I just want you to be okay."

Kate rolled her eyes and gave him one of her looks. Rick felt the corners of his lips pulling upward, seeing the little glimmer of Kate's old self.

"You're mad and you have every right to be, Rick. Just admit it." She groaned softly, bringing a curled hand to her eyes and moving it across her forehead.

"Okay, but only a little bit. We'll talk later though."

"Why?" she murmured sleepily, turning her head so her cheek was pressed against the pillow.

This time, it was Rick's turn to roll his eyes. "Because you're obviously in pain and I don't want you to get stressed and feel worse."

She nodded, her eyes dipping closed as her body relaxed. He kissed her forehead and gently sat beside her.

" 'M lucky," she mumbled, feeling the mattress dip slightly beneath his weight.

"Hmm?" Rick hummed in response.

"Lucky to have you," she clarified, falling asleep to the feeling of his hand running gently through her hair.

...

A few hours later, with minimal pain, she managed to slide off the bed and shuffle into Rick's office. She stood in the doorframe, a blanket hung around her shoulders as she pulled it tightly against her body. She lowered herself onto the couch with a grimace, a quick breath escaping her lips. A glance at the clock told her it was five past two in the morning.

Rick looked up. "How are you feeling?"

She gave a shrug and wrapped her arms around her abdomen.

"Head doing okay?"

She nodded.

"Ribs?"

Another nod as her eyes wandered past him, distant and thoughtful. "You want to talk now," he said, more of a statement than a question. He knew she wasn't going to admit anything was hurting as long as this conversation hung between them.

She titled her head down for a third time, her fingers pulling at the hem of the blanket.

He closed his laptop and waited for her to talk, knowing she needed time to piece her words together.

"I'm sorry about everything," she began, her voice was so small and apologetic, so insecure. It was the kind of voice he'd never imagine coming from Kate, from Detective Beckett, who always appeared so strong and sure. Yet her she was, sitting in front of him, looking vulnerable and scared and hesitant.

She looked up from her hands before continuing, settling her gaze back down. "Sometimes I just miss her so much, my mom, you know? And it's stupid, because she's gone and I know that, but some mornings I still wake up and expect to see her. Sometimes I can't help but stare at my phone just waiting for a call I know will never come."

"Oh, Kate," he said, unable to keep the words from leaving his lips.

She shook her head, letting him know that she wanted to continue, that she needed to. A quivering breath filled her lungs before she spoke again. "Sometimes I feel so ungrateful, because I have you and the twins and so much more than a lot of people, but I still miss her. I still want more… what kind of person does that make me? And the twins, god I love them so much, it's just, I find that I miss her more now, since there's so much I feel like she's missing."

Outside, the wind howled as rain pattered against the concrete sidewalks and pelted the building's windows. Kate's body shot up at a sudden crack of thunder. Lightning tore across the sky, its white electricity ripping through the inky vastness. The wince that followed was sharp enough to make Rick jump. "Let me get you some pain medicine," he said.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head as tears gathered in her eyes, "I don't know if I'll be able to say this if I stop talking."

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to," he said.

"I want to tell you, I want you to know why I'm doing these things."

He nodded and moved from his desk to take a seat beside her. Beneath his hand, the muscles of her back felt tight, her body rigid as she started speaking again. "In a few days it'll be the anniversary of her death and I don't know why it's been happening so much more often these past few months, but when I start thinking about her, the sadness just becomes overwhelming and it feels like I can't breathe, I feel so alone and isolated," the words were spilling out of her in a rush, a hurricane of pent up emotion, tumbling beyond her reach, crashing forward. "God, Castle, sometimes it feels like I'm going crazy just trying to keep everything in, trying to keep everything together. Work is the only thing that lets me do that, when I work I can pretend nothing's wrong. I can ignore all the pain that's eating me inside out."

"Kate, that's not healthy. It's hurting you and it's terrifying to see you so distraught. If you keep it in for too long, it'll just grow. Why didn't you tell me all of this earlier?"

"I couldn't do it, every time I looked at you I thought of everything you've done for me, all the improvements I've made and how much happier I felt around you and the twins. I couldn't mess that up. I couldn't burden you with all of this—this disaster, this pain."

"Oh, Kate, you're not a burden, you could never be a burden to me. I love you, okay? Listen to me when I say that. I love you and nothing's going to change that. I love you when you're smiling, I love you when you're crying, I love you when you're yelling at me. I love you, Kate, all the time."

She sniffled, wiping the silent tears from her cheeks and turning into him, pressing her head into the crook of his neck. Her warm, salty tears pooled in her eyes and spilled over. "I wanted to come home to you guys, I really did, but somehow it became so painful. When I saw you, I saw a reflection of the person I should be and it hurt too badly. You're there for the kids and you have everything together and you never get too upset, and then there's me and I'm a disaster, I'm fighting demons from the past and I don't even know how to let go. I'm nothing."

"You really don't see it, do you? God, Kate, you're wonderful and brave and strong—the strongest person I've ever met. Even if you weren't, you'd still be more than enough. You're kind and compassionate and stubborn and smart. You're a remarkable person and the fact that you've endured all these hardships only makes you even stronger, even more remarkable."

"I lost myself, Rick," she whispered against his neck. "I'm not that girl I used to be. I got sucked into work and I can't find myself again."

"Then we'll look together," he murmured against her hair. "She's still inside and she can't be too far away. We'll find her."

He felt her nodding against his chest, her breath coming rapidly as she wept against him. "Everything's piling up and I can't take it, I just don't have it in me anymore."

"You have everything you need inside of you, Kate. You're understandably stressed and upset, but it's going to be okay. It really is. Things will turn around."

"I didn't mean to hurt you guys."

He ran a hand over her hair. "I think we can get over it. We were mostly worried about you anyway. Well, Maddie was also interested in getting you to read to her."

Rick could feel her lips curve into a smile on his neck. She lifted her head. "That girl never stops reading, huh?"

"It's insane all the books she's torn through," Rick answered. "She never stops loving you either."

Kate gave a small laugh, looking upward in an attempt to curb her tears as she sniffled. "I don't know why I'm crying so much."

"Probably because you've been holding all of this in for so long. Plus, Lanie said you'd be pretty emotional for a few days since you suffered a concussion."

"Let's blame it on that," Kate said, the hint of a laugh coloring her voice as she regained her composure. "Thank you, Rick. I really mean it. I just kind of fell apart there and I don't know what I'd be doing right now if I didn't have you. So, thank you for being by my side."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he said, smiling sweetly at her.

More tears formed in her eyes.

"What's a matter?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just can't believe how fortunate I am to have you."

"I think I'm the lucky one here."

Kate shook her head. "I love you," she said, curling her hand around his. Gripping his fingers like they were the only thing that could keep her grounded. "And I know the twins are supposed to be asleep right now, but I think I hear them running around upstairs."

Rick laughed and shook his head, "I think we should go handle that. Now that we've had our talk—honest answer on how you're feeling?"

"Hurts a little, but I'll be okay."

"Fair enough," he said, moving to stand up and taking both her hands in his. "I love you, Kate."

"I love you more," she said, biting her lip to keep in a gasp as she stood up. Leaning into his chest, she gave a loving sigh.

"You know that's impossible," he whispered into her curls.

Kate shook her head. "It's really quite debatable."

He smirked. "I don't know, but I think we should go get the twins back in bed."

"Wait," she said, nestling her head impossibly closer against him, "Just one more second." As they stood engulfed in each other's arms, Kate felt warmth and love seeping through his fingertips and into her veins. She felt the comfort grow inside her, loosen the cold, hard grasp of fear and doubt and sadness. As they stood together, the feeling of their hearts beating in sync, heard the sound of their breathing and their kids' footsteps above—the only sounds breaking the silence of early morning, she finally started to feel okay.


	5. Pancakes and the Precinct

**A/N:** After hours of studying for my math exam, I couldn't stop myself from piecing together this little chapter for you guys. Thanks for your continued reviews, they mean more than I can describe. Madeline and Max are somewhere around seven years old in this one. I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear your feedback!

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As early morning light streamed through the windows, Kate woke to the sound of footsteps padding down the hall. Further listening revealed the sound of excited whispers, and within a few seconds the twins appeared in the door way. They bounded toward her bed, hand-in-hand, wearing identical smiles.

"Good morning, peanuts," Kate said sleepily as they climbed onto the mattress. Each one picked a side and snuggled up against her.

"Morning, Mommy," they mumbled against her stomach and nestled closer.

Kate loved these small, simple moments. They felt so normal, so right, and never failed to leave her feeling lucky.

"Where's Daddy?" Madeline asked, curiosity lifting her voice as it pulled Kate from her thoughts.

"He left for his book tour this morning," she replied, looping her fingers in circles around the girl's back.

"I miss 'im," Max said, his little head in the crook of her neck.

"Me too, but he'll be home before you know it." The detective kissed each of her kids on their foreheads. "How about we go make pancakes?" Kate suggested, eager to change the subject and get her mind off Rick. She missed him so much already, all while groaning inwardly at how schmaltzy she was becoming. Sometimes, she honestly questioned how she'd managed without him for so long, but then again, maybe she was just getting softer. The thought brought a smile across her lips, he was worth it.

Regardless of her internal discussion, the distraction worked seamlessly and within moments, her energetic kids were bouncing off the bed and racing toward the kitchen.

"Mommy, hurry up!" Max urged from the pantry as he searched for flour.

"I'll be there in a second. Don't touch anything yet," she called back as she stood up. Before leaving the room, she cast a glance at Rick's empty side of the bed and wished for him to be home already. God, she loved him so much.

As the detective went to meet the twins, the unusual silence should have hinted to her that something wasn't right, but her mind was off thinking about Rick and she couldn't seem to focus.

It wasn't until she heard the nervous, hushed whispers that she knew mischief was occurring. A frantic "don't tell mom," was rather concerning.

"Are you kidding, she's going to notice," came the other voice.

Kate paused and took a deep breath, as she entered the kitchen, her eyebrows rose. Madeline and Max were standing in the middle of an all-white kitchen. Flour blanketed nearly everything: the countertops, the floor, and, of course, the twins.

The impish pair stood in the center of the chaos, wide-eyed and wearing guilty expressions. Kate bit her lip in a hopeless attempt to submerge the laughter that threatened to spill over.

Trying to be stern, she asked, speechless at the mess in front of her. "What did you… how?"

The panicked look on her kids' faces as they struggled to explain the flour catastrophe was too much for Kate. She really should reprimand them for this, but they already looked sorry, she'll have a talk with them about listening and waiting later. At the moment, laughter escaped from her lips and filled the tense room with joy. Soon her kids joined in and the loft became alive with the melodic sound.

When the giggles died down, Madeline looked up nervously at her mom. "Are you mad at us?"

"Of course not, honey. Just wait for me next time."

"We tried to," Madeline began, "we really did."

Beside her, Max nodded earnestly. "We just got excited, so I tried to grab the flour from the pantry, but it was on the top shelf, so I pulled a chair over. When I reached, it fell."

"Then it exploded on the floor."

"So Maddie threw some at me."

The little girl put her hands on her hips. "I did not."

"Yes you did."

"Okay, fine, but only because you threw some at me."

"Guys," Kate warned, drawing their attention.

"Sorry," they said sheepishly.

"Let's get this cleaned up, okay?"

"Wait, I know we're kind of in trouble, but can we make flour angels?" Madeline asked, gazing up at Kate hopefully.

She sighed and ran the thought through her head, Rick would probably say yes. "Okay," she settled on her decision, "but only if both of you promise to get me next time you decide to pull out the flour."

"Promise," they both said, expectantly holding out their pinkies to Kate. She couldn't help the grin that upturned the corners of her lips as she pinkie promised with the twins, before lowering herself onto the powder covered floor.

They'd been making 'flour angels' for a few minutes when Madeline started tossing the white flour into the air because she insisted that she missed winter and wanted it looked like snow. "Mama?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom," Max piped in.

"I love you both very, very much," Kate declared before planting floury kisses on their floury noses.

"Also, I'm sort of hungry…" Madeline said with a small grin.

"Let's get washed and then we can go out for some breakfast. But first, we need to clean up this miss."

Three showers, two rolls of wet paper towels, an experience with the vacuum cleaner and two hours later, Kate knelt by the door, helping her kids slip on their sneakers.

"Ready to go?" she asked as she stood up.

Madeline and Max nodded with little smiles lighting up their faces.

"Tell you what," Kate began once they were in the elevator, heading down to the ground floor, "you've got two choices. We can go get pancakes and waffles at the restaurant down the street or we can pick up some doughnuts and visit Uncle Ryan, Uncle Esposito, and Aunt Lanie at the precinct. Which do you prefer?"

Simultaneously the twins responded with a cheer of "doughnuts!" Nothing won the twins over like sugary breakfast foods and a trip to the precinct.

"Doughnuts it is," Kate repeated as they stepped out of the elevator.

Once they were in the car, children's sing-along music blared from the speaker and Kate smiled despite the aggravating tunes that always managed to get stuck in her head. In the back seat, Madeline and Max repeated the words, perfectly in sync. It was moments like that that filled the mother's heart with an overwhelming amount of love for her kids.

After a quick call to Esposito and a doughnut run, they found themselves at the twelfth precinct.

"Uncle Esposito!" the twins squealed in delight as they spotted the detective. Their little legs raced toward Esposito. In a swift swoop he picked them both up, one in each arm, and set them on the edge of Kate's desk across from him.

"How's it goin' Little Castles?"

"Good," the twins giggled back, their legs swing off the side of the desk.

"We brought doughnuts!" Max said excitedly.

"Hey, Espo," Kate greeted as she set down the box.

"Hey yourself," he grinned. "Enjoying your day off?"

She smiled. "Of course."

"Did someone say 'doughnuts'?" Ryan asked with a smirk as he appeared around the corner.

Madeline and Max leapt off the desk and bounded toward him. They collided into his legs, wrapping their tiny arms around him.

From her location on the side, Kate smiled, thinking about how lucky they were to have this extension of their family.


	6. Morning

Ruffling through her coat pocket, Kate's fingers finally closed around her keys. She dug them out and inserted them in to the lock. A relieved sigh fell from her lips as the lock clicked. Using her weight, she leaned against the door to open it with minimal effort. Eventually the door gave way and she gratefully stepped over the threshold. Securing the door, before heading into the silent loft.

A dim light in the kitchen provided enough illumination to read the note scrawled in Rick's familiar handwriting, letting her know that dinner was waiting for her in the fridge. Her hands gripped the counter for a moment, the deep-rooted exhaustion in her bones making the executive decision to sleep first and eat later. She flicked off the kitchen light and made the quick trip upstairs to peek into the nursery. Her twins, a little over three months old now, were sleeping soundly in their cribs. Careful not to wake them, Kate tiptoed in and pressed soft kisses against their foreheads before sneaking out.

With a sigh equal part triumph and fatigue, Kate entered the bedroom and began shedding her clothes. The fabric piled haphazardly on the floor. Mind numb and too tired to bother with moving her discarded outfit, she fumbled open a draw in their dresser and pulled out the nearest t-shirt, tugging it over her head while she collapsed against the mattress.

Alerted by her sudden warmth, Rick's hand reached out to her. Half conscious, half subconscious, he gently pulled her toward him, muttering a soft greeting. She relished in his touch, her sleepy form craving contact. In the dark, their lips met softly, messily, before breaking apart. Just as Kate molded herself against him, a cry rang from upstairs. The twins. Crying. Again. For at least the hundredth time in the past three hours.

Rick's eyes cracked open and he shifted upward to slip out of bed without bothering Kate.

"I'll get them," he whispered.

She shook her head, extending her arm from beneath the blanket and curling her fingers into a fist around the fabric of his shirt. Gently, she pulled him back down beside her.

"It's fine, babe," she said. Her limbs felt heavy and groggy in protest, reluctant as she sat up and pressed her back against the headboard. "I can do it."

"You just got home," Rick protested. "You haven't slept in over twenty four hours. Get to sleep, Kate. You're running yourself down."

She took his hand in hers, moving her thumb across his knuckles. "A few more minutes won't make a difference."

"Kate—" he began, but was interrupted by a soft finger pressed against his lips.

"It's okay, really. We got the guy a little while ago and I'm still pumped up on adrenaline." So maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration-she wasn't necessarily buzzing with energy, but Rick had been getting the twins every time they cried at night and it was making her feel guilty. Plus, she hadn't seen Madeline or Max all day and she missed them. A lot.

Rick gently moved her finger from his lips, this time wrapping her hand in his. "Beckett, you're exhausted."

_True._

"You need sleep."

_Also true._

However, she was stubborn. She squeezed his hand, looking up to meet blue eyes. "So do you. I'll get some after handling the twins. I've got tomorrow off, I'll sleep then."

"You should really rest, Kate."

"I haven't seen them all day, Castle. I'll be fine. It isn't a big deal."

More cries carried into the room. "Are you sure?" he asked, sleepily releasing her hand so he could run his gently through her hair, jostling the loose waves.

She nodded in response to his question and leaned over to give him a soft kiss. Finally, he relaxed against the pillow. Fatigue settling over him like a weighted blanket.

"Go back to sleep," Kate whispered as she brushed hair off his forehead. Her hand lingered as her heart swelled with love for the man in front of her. She ran a hand over his back, before a loud cry attracted her attention. She wiggled from beneath the sheets and climbed the stairs, scolding herself for getting sidetracked.

She slipped through the cracked door into the nursery. "Hey peanuts," she whispered, "What's a matter?"

Making her way toward their cribs, she reached Max's first and lifted him up, hugging him against her chest, bouncing lightly. Flicking on the light, so she could see, Kate swaddled Max with expertise. "Shh, it's okay, baby. I need to grab your sister, okay?" Kate said as she put him down.

Once Madeline was wrapped in her blanket, the detective leaned over Max's crib. With minimal movement, Kate managed to pick up Max with her free hand and cradle the baby against her other side. Moonlight filtered through the windowsill as city lights twinkled outside. The late May air brought warmth to the city, encouraging night movement as pedestrians bustled outside. Kate moved from the nursery, bouncing the twins as she walked. "Be quiet, my loves," she whispered, making her way down the stairs. "It's okay."

Max was always the first one to fall sleep, and, within a few minutes, his cries subsided, easily comforted by his mother's presence. Kate went back to the nursery and gently settled Max back into his crib, hoping to put him down before Madeline woke him.

The detective was successful and slipped out of the room again, retracing her steps back to the living room. "What's going on, sweetie? Are you cold?" Kate asked, repositioning the girl against her chest, transferring warmth and love. Kate rubbed her daughter's back as the girl's cries finally began to wane. Madeline rested her head against Kate's collarbone and wiggled an arm out from her blanket. She reached out and wrapped her small fingers around a strand of Kate's hair. A little smile formed on the girl's lips, its brightness overpowering the fading tears.

"You like that, huh?" Kate grinned, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead. The stillness of the night, the soft twinkle of stars and infant in her arms, made the detective feel a warmth spreading through her body. Content coursing through her veins. Despite the exhaustion, she loved the twins. Loved being a mom.

Madeline giggled, pulling Kate from her thoughts. She watched as Madeline keep the hair clutched between her fingers as she nestled against Kate's chest. Soon, the little girl's giggles gave way to a yawn as Kate led her back to the nursery.

…

The sun had just risen, casting a soft orange glow throughout the loft as Rick peeked through the door of the nursery. He'd woken to an empty bed and quiet house. Upstairs, he entered the room and saw the twins peaceful and secure in their cribs.

Kate, however, was in the rocking chair beside them, looking entirely exhausted. Hair tied up in a loose bun, clothed in his t-shirt, she was curled up in the chair with her legs pulled against her chest. Rick couldn't suppress the smile that tugged the corners of his lips upward.

He'd never cease to be amazed by her. She was so tough at work, so unrelenting and resolute. Once the twins had come along, he was able to witness a wholly new side of her. The side of Detective Beckett that read to their kids even when they couldn't understand, who comforted them when they were sick and stayed in their room all night so they wouldn't wake up alone.

Nonetheless, there was still the Kate he always knew. Especially the one who consistently ranked sleep as a low priority. He placed a hand on her shoulder, running it over her scapula as he softly called her name.

He received a response in the form of a lethargic mutter somewhere around the fourth try.

"Castle?" she asked, peeking her eyes open and squinting in the sunlight.

"Come on, Kate. Let's get you to bed," he said, suppressing a chuckle as she nodded slowly and stood up, stumbling into his arms. Sleepy Kate, he'd come to realize was much different from irritable and tired Kate, the sleepy form of his favorite detective was cuddly and sometimes clingy—in both an adorable and surprising way.

He led her to their bedroom as she leaned against his side, her frame drooping with fatigue. When they made it through the door, she fell onto the mattress as Rick pulled the sheets over her.

"Night, Beckett," he said, dusting a kiss across her forehead.

"It's morning," she mumbled, her voice muted by the comforter.

Rick smiled and put a hand on her back. "It sure is."


	7. Not Yet

Rick and Kate sat on the couch, glasses of wine sitting on the coffee table. Kate's elbow was propped up against the back of the couch as she talked with Rick. She bit her lip, leaning forward for a kiss, her eyes sparkling.

"Do you think she's having fun?" Kate asked, slanting back against the couch.

"I hope so," Rick said, then he broke into a smile. "She is. She's been best friends with Austin since they were in second grade. They always have fun."

Kate pulled a hand through her hair. "I know, I know. It's just different. It's like an actual date or something." She scrunched up her nose.

"I thought she said it wasn't a date."

With a tilt of her head and raised eyebrows, Kate looked at him. "Really, Castle?"

He shrugged. "What? She said she thought, and I quote: 'dating in high school is stupid and a waste of time."

"She's in denial," Kate said, a smile forming on her lips, "She's mature but she's still a teenager."

Rick feigned pain. "I don't want to think about it. I mean she's Maddie, our book loving, soccer loving, school obsessed baby bird."

Kate pulled down her elbow and slid toward him, nestling her face against his shoulder. "I know and I want her to stay that way."

Madeline had been close friends with Austin since they met during "library time" in elementary school. Ever since that day, the two had been linked. Most of the time, Madeline was focused and driven, but she had spunk that shone through when she needed it. Austin managed to pull a little good-natured mischief from her. Especially when they were younger. Kate could so clearly picture their little faces, Max included, the three of them wearing bright impish grins that could only mean trouble.

Madeline and Alexis had teamed up to convince Rick and Kate to let Madeline go on what she called a "celebration of friendship." So, here were Rick and Kate, waiting up for their fifteen year old daughter.

A few minutes later, an opening door interrupted the parents' conversation. They looked over, Madeline's back was pressed against the door, a radiant smile lighting up her face as she looked down at their feet. The scene reminded Rick of Alexis' prom so many years ago.

Madeline looked up, her grin only growing wider as she tucked a strand of chestnut hair behind her ear. She saw Kate and Rick watching her. "What?" she asked, a giggle coloring her voice.

"We just want know how your date went," Rick said as he stood up, opening his arms for a hug.

Madeline rolled her eyes, but wrapped her arms around him, groaning, "It wasn't a date, Dad."

Over his shoulder, she met Kate's gaze. The detective wore a knowing smirk. "You sure?"

Deep blush shaded Madeline's cheeks as she wiggled out of the hug. "God, Mom. We're just friends."

A second later, Max made his way down the stairs. "Yeah, right. You two are gross."

"Oh shut up, Max," Madeline said, suppressing a grin as she grabbed a pillow from the couch and flung it at him.

Catching the pillow, he tossed it back on the couch with a cocky grin that embodied Rick perfectly. "Hey, come upstairs with me. I just found the coolest documentary."

"I'm so in," Madeline said, following him up the stairs.

"Don't stay up too late, Max. You have track tomorrow morning and Maddie, don't think you're getting off the hook, I want details later." Kate called.

Her twins' heads peeked around the corner. "Okay, Mom," they singsonged back, seamlessly in unity, the same way they always had been.

Once their kids were upstairs, Rick turned to Kate. "A documentary?"

She shrugged. "The documentary obsession has exceeded the phase point. I'm more interested in what happened with Maddie and Austin. She's wearing the same look I used to get in high school."

…

"Mom?" Madeline whispered, leaning over her parents' bed. Kate's lips curved into a knowing smile as her eyes peeked open.

"Finally ready to spill?"

Madeline smirked, looking so much like her mom in that moment as she nodded. Her eyes glimmered softly in the still of the early morning hours.

"I've been waiting all night," Kate said as she slipped out of bed, "Come on, let's go get some hot chocolate while you tell me what's up."

Taking her daughter's hand, Kate guided them into the kitchen. Within a few minutes, they were settled at the counter, each nursing a mug of hot chocolate.

"Well?" Kate asked, her chin resting in the palm of her hand.

"I couldn't sleep."

"And why's that?" Kate asked expectantly, raising her brows.

"God, Mom," Madeline groaned, hiding her face in her hands as a grin spread across her lips. Looking up between her fingers, she bit her bottom lip. "He kissed me… Austin kissed me and I liked it."

Kate smiled. "He really likes you. And you really like him, huh?"

Madeline shrugged as deep pink colored her cheeks, dropping her head into her arms as her mom gazed at her. "Stop," Madeline giggled.

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that…"

"I think he really cares about you," Kate instigated.

Madeline looked up. "I know and I care about him too and I like him a lot, but I don't want to date anyone," she wrinkled her nose, "Seems like a waste of time right now."

Reaching out, Kate tucked a strand of hair behind Madeline's ear. "How'd you get so smart, baby bird?"

"It's all you, Mom. I mean Dad's smart too, he's just a little… eccentric," the teenager said, an amused grin stretching across her lips. She looked up again a moment later, her brows were pulled together, a serious expression etching its way across her features. "Mom," she began, "Is it bad that I kissed someone I'm not even dating? I mean, we're only supposed to be friends. I only want to be friends."

A soft laugh emerged from Kate. "Maddie, you'd probably cringe if you heard how many non-boyfriend boys I kissed in high school."

"Mom!" Maddie cried, blush rising across her cheeks. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Kate took her daughter's hand in her own. "I'm definitely not encouraging that behavior, but I want you to know that it turns out okay—no matter how complicated or confusing things seem. Even when you do things that push your comfort zone, it all works out in the end.

"It's hard because sometimes you should do the things that scare you, but you always need to listen to your head and your heart. Focus on the things that really matter to you. You're smart and tough, Dad and I trust that you'll make the right decisions, and when you don't, we know that you're strong enough to pick yourself up and keep moving forward."

Madeline wiggled off of her seat and wrapped her arms around Kate, crushing her into a hug. "I love you, Mom," Madeline whispered against her mom's hair.

"I love you too, baby," Kate said, rubbing her daughter's back before disposing of their cups in the dishwasher and bidding each other goodnight.

Madeline made her way upstairs, pausing on the top step, she hovered there, looking back at her mother's retreating form.

"Mom?" she called out, waiting for Kate to turn before continuing. "How do you know when you're in love?"

A nostalgic warmth swept over Kate. "Your dad asked me this question for Alexis years ago, and my answer's still the same… All the songs make sense."

As Madeline nodded thoughtfully, running the words through her mind, Kate waited. Finally she broke the silence. "Well, what did you find? Are you in love?"

A relieved smile fell over Madeline's lips, she shook her heads. Filling Kate with the comforting thought that her kids weren't completely grow up were Madeline's words, lingering behind as she turned the corner. "Not yet."

* * *

**A/N:** I decided to explore the teenage twins in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! The next chapter will be back to little Maddie and Max. I'd like to thank you guys again for all your encouragement and follows/favorites and reviews. You're amazing and really do inspire me to write more. Also, to all the moms out there- Happy Mother's Day, you are incredible!


	8. It's Love

Rick gazed at the outline of Kate's form as she stood in front of the murder board. The early setting sun sent light scattering through the precinct, illuminating her frame in a warm glow.

"How's the case coming?" he asked, stepping beside her.

She flinched slightly, startled by his sudden presence when she'd been so caught up in the murder timeline. Quickly regaining her composure, she turned to face him. "It's…" she paused, her eyes flitting back to the murder board, squinting in thought as she searched for the right word, "Complicated," she finally settled.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked while his hands moved from his sides to her shoulders. His fingers determinedly working out the tension around her neck. It was impossible for her not to love this man.

Despite her attempts not to, a soft, satisfied sigh escaped her lips. "Not right now," she answered, shaking her head and finding it increasingly more difficult to focus on the conversation with Rick's hands on her shoulders, easing away a weight she hadn't even realized she'd been carrying.

"You sure you don't want to talk?" His hands stopped for a moment, gently twisting her body so they could face each other again. The pause elicited a frustrated mumble from her lips. "Mmm, please don't stop."

He chuckled and put his hands back in place as her eyes closed again. "You know we need to get going soon. The twins have their first soccer game tonight."

A smile etched its way across Kate's face. "Nothing to distract me from a case like those two."

"Agreed," Rick said as Kate led the way to the elevator, resting her head against his shoulder and threading her fingers between his as the doors closed.

…

"Mommy! Daddy!" Came the twins cries immediately as the loft door cracked open.

"Hi, baby," Kate said as she swooped up Max. Instantly, he wrapped his legs around her waist and nuzzled against her. She hugged him toward her chest. His little heart was beating so close to hers and she couldn't help but think about how lucky she was to be here, holding her seven year old son while Castle stood beside her with their daughter in his arms. Years ago when her mother died, she didn't think she'd ever be able to find that solid security and happiness again, yet her she was. Regardless of the case related stress and complications, she was able to come home to this, and that meant the world to her.

"How was your day?" Max asked, peeking up at her through his brown hair with big hazel eyes.

She ran her hand along his back. Her son. Her sweet little boy who always asked how she was doing, who was always making sure other people were okay. So very much like his father in that aspect. Charming and caring and continually ready to share his big heart.

"My day was pretty good, but I missed you guys," she leaned forward and rubbed her nose against his, pulling a small giggle from her little boy.

"We missed you too," he slanted away from her, angling his body toward his sister, currently being held in Rick's arms. "Right, Maddie?"

She nodded vigorously. "Right."

Then the kids squirmed out of their parents' arms to switch places; a daily ritual that had become so familiar, Kate couldn't imagine her life without it. From the couch, Alexis stood up and walked over.

"Hey Dad, hey Kate," the redhead said with a smile.

Rick maneuvered Max onto one side and pulled Alexis into a one-armed hug. "I've missed you, Pumpkin."

"I've missed you too, Dad," Alexis said, laughing against him as he squeezed her tighter.

"I don't ever want to let go."

Alexis smiled. "Well, you kind of have to. I'm meeting some friends for dinner," she glanced down at her watch, "in half an hour."

Rick sighed dramatically, prompting giggles from the twins. "I guess I'll see you soon then. Thanks for looking after them, Lex," he said.

"It was my pleasure. The little guys are cute…"

"They're lucky to have you as a big sister."

"I'm lucky to be their big sister," she said, gathering her hair onto one shoulder as she squatted down and grabbed a twin in each arm, hugging them snugly, the warmth of their innocent bodies never failing to make her smile. She felt an overwhelming amount of love for her little siblings.

"Love you, Sissy," Madeline and Max said as they leaned against her.

"I love you, too, little sis and little bro," she said before whispering in their ears. "Good luck tonight."

The two kids beamed.

"How's everything going?" Kate asked the redhead as she resumed her standing position.

"Great," she smiled, "Everything's been going really well lately."

"I'm glad," the detective said. "Were Maddie and Max good for you?"

"Of course," she said, sending a wink at the twins, whose grins only grew wider. "I'd love to stay with you guys longer, but I really do need to get going. I'll talk to you later."

A few hugs, "bye"s, and "I love you"s later, and the four Castles were alone in the loft. Despite Alexis' departure, the twins were still energized and bouncing around at the prospect of pizza for dinner. Okay, so perhaps it wasn't the healthiest or wisest pregame meal, but they didn't have much time and both parents were exhausted, the weight of work leaving its imprint.

"Do you know what tonight is?" Madeline asked as she dropped a slice of pizza onto her plate and kicked her legs excitedly.

Both Kate and Rick feigned ignorance for a moment, pretending as though soccer hadn't been brought up at least five times a day for the past week. "Is it your soccer game?" Kate finally asked when the little girl's squirming peaked.

"Yes!" she said.

"At seven p.m.," Max followed, nodding seriously.

"But Coach Lizzie said we should try to be there fifteen minutes early."

Rick caught Kate's eye and they shared a quick smile. Madeline was completely enamored by her coach and absolutely admired the young high-school-aged girl. It became especially apparent when Madeline would sometimes refer to soccer days as days she would "finally get to see Lizzie again." The girl adored her coach.

When the pizza was all finished, the family scrambled to get ready in time.

"Come on," Kate said as she stood up, "let's go get you guys dressed."

The twins followed her upstairs while Rick sifted through the closet in the hallway, pulling out two soccer balls and bottles of water. A few minutes later, Madeline and Max were leaping down the stairs, each wearing their navy jerseys proudly as their knee length soccer socks carried them less than gracefully across the floor.

"I'm number four," Madeline said as she twirled around in front of Rick.

"I'm number seven," Max said, skidding to a stop beside his sister.

"And we're almost late," Kate said, putting a hand on the shoulder of each kid and turning them towards the door. "We need to be there early—it's a big night for you two. Go grab your cleats please and we'll get going."

"Okay," they sing-songed as they disappeared into the closet.

With the few seconds alone, Rick turned to Kate, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he gently pulled her against him. "You seem stressed," he whispered against her hair.

Rather than pushing away, she leaned against him, allowing her eyes to close for a brief moment. "I'm all right, just tired. The case we're working is tough and now I'm nervous that we're going to be late to the soccer game and Jenny's sick so Ryan's been home with her and Sarah Grace so we've been short people and there aren't any leads…" she trailed off, fumbling a hand through her hair, falling into the anxious habitat.

He pressed a kiss against her forehead just as the kids emerged from the closet—cleats in hand. "I know you'll figure it out. You always do."

She offered him a quick smile as he squeezed her hand and the family made their way to the car.

…

It was love. To Madeline Castle, soccer practice was fun, but soccer games were everything. From the second her little cleat clad foot stepped onto the grassy field, soccer became her world. In one second as the starting whistle blew and excitement raced through her bloodstream, she knew that she never wanted to look back. In one second, everything fell into place. At seven years old, Madeline fell head over heels for the beautiful game.

Max on the other hand, Kate and Rick realized, had found a different passion: running. They could see it in the way he gushed about how fast and far he'd run "without even getting tired, not one bit," the whole car ride home. After the game, he'd raced Madeline to the sideline and back to where Kate and Rick were talking to Coach Lizzie

The little sparkle in both twin sets of hazel eyes didn't dull all night. Not through celebratory ice cream or baths or bedtime stories and it was still there, glimmering away, the next morning, the next month, the next year. It was as though the sport had sparked a fire in Madeline and Max, and their parents never wanted that kind of love to fade.

…

"Well, Castle, I think I'd consider today a huge success," Kate said as she slipped beneath the sheets, turning to face Rick, their sides parallel as she turned toward the center of the bed.

"Even though the case is still messy?"

She nodded. "You know, I was so worried about it all day and then we got to the fields and the twins were just so happy. Did you see the way they were smiling after the game?" The corners of her lips upturned contently at the memory.

"I don't think they stopped smiling," Rick said, pulling her hand into his and running his thumb over hers. "I don't think you did either," he added, smirking.

She broke their gaze, her eyes drifting to the foot of the bed. "They make me so happy. I mean, you've done this all before with Alexis, but this is the first anything like this has ever happened to me and I love them more than I ever thought possible. It's like there are these extensions of myself and of you walking around the world and it's so…"she paused for a moment, trying to find a word that could even come close to encompassing everything she was feeling, from her beating heart and grinning lips to the little voice in her head promising that it would all be okay.

"Wonderful, terrifying, beautiful, remarkable, and completely indescribable" Rick tried.

Kate nodded, both of them shared a knowing smile. "Exactly."

"I guess it's love."

"I guess it is," Kate said as she turned off the lamp, flooding the room in the kind of darkness that was tranquil and whole. "Goodnight, Castle. I love you."

"I love you, too, Beckett. Sleep tight."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite," she finished, wrinkling her nose at the phrase that had become so familiar. She fell asleep with a smile on her face and a single though on her mind: being a parent really changes you, and she wouldn't want to be any other way.

* * *

**A/N: **Hello! As always, thank you so very much for your reviews and favorites/follows. Your kind responses never fail to make me happy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Now that I've got some sports established for the twins, I can use some plots that I've drafted for future chapters, so I'm looking forward to that.

Thanks again!


	9. Solid Ground

Kate stumbled into the kitchen, bringing a curled hand up to her face as sunlight flooded the loft. She yawned and collapsed into the closest chair. Exhaustion linked with something sad and deep in her chest as she remembered entering the loft early in the morning and the heavy weight threatening to crush her heart.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Rick said with a smile as he leaned over a pan of eggs. "You want anything?"

She shook her head. "No thanks." Usually his cheery attitude was infectious, pulling her lips into a grin when she felt like crying, always uplifting her spirits with his light. But today, his jubilance just twisted her heart and intensified the empty vastness she felt, because she didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't know how to free herself from the void, and somehow, surround amongst the merriment of Rick and the kids, she felt even worse. She felt like an outsider to her own family, like they were a perfect day and she was the rain that took the sunshine away.

Frustrated with herself, she straightened up and decided to focus on conversation. "Where are Maddie and Max?" she asked.

"Upstairs, getting dressed, brushing hair, probably making a mess while simultaneously trying to save the world." He flashed her a grin.

She offered him a brief smile and something about it unsettled Rick. The dull distance in her gaze clenched at his heart; he wasn't sure what was the matter but already he wanted to do whatever he could to take it away.

Rick appeared by Kate's side and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. She looked up at him, peering through dark lashes and wearing that same empty smile. The one she put on for show. The one she used to lock things up and bury them away.

Part of Rick immediately swelled with worry and he had to fight the urge to confront her, but she deserved a change to come to him first if something was bothering her.

So, rather than a concern driven question, he settled on something a little more neutral. "Late night again, huh?"

She nodded.

"It's this case, isn't it?" he remarked. Between the twins' preschool and writing, Rick had been too busy to visit the precinct for the past few days. Over the last few weeks, Kate hadn't come home past seven and it finally felt like things were working themselves out, but something about this case had shaken everything up. The past three nights had resulted in Kate slipping into bed early in the morning and waking before the sun had rose.

"Yeah," she replied, "It was ten when we finally brought our suspect into the precinct. I was so sure he was our killer. Espo, Ryan, and I decided to stick around and try to get a confession, which—after a few hours—got nothing. Eventually, Gates made us all go home," she finished with a shrug.

"You're still working today?" he asked, gazing at her with concerned eyes.

"Yeah. I need to get in soon." Shooting a quick glance at the clock before adding, "I really shouldn't have slept in this late anyway."

The guilt that laced her words tightened the unease in his chest, he opened his mouth to say something, when Max's call carried down the stairs. "Daddy, we need help. Maddie's messing with the toothpaste, again…"

"No, I'm not," came the defiant voice of Madeline, followed by a thud and squeal of laughter from the twins.

Rick sighed and Kate's lips flickered into the first genuine smile he'd seen all morning. "We better go take care of that," she said as she slid off the chair and he followed her up the stairs.

Twenty minutes later, the thud was still unidentified but at least Kate was able to get dressed, the kids' teeth were brushed and they were occupied with slipping on their shoes. Rick pulled Kate a step aside from the twins before they left for preschool.

"Hey, Kate, seriously are you okay?" he asked, worry swirling inside him, overpowering the rational part that begged him to wait it out.

She was about to answer when a jarring ring of her phone broke the honesty of the moment, shattering it into thousands of pieces and smattering them across the floor. The detective pulled away, and Rick strained to make out the words of Captain Gates on the other side of the line. Her features flickered into a pained expression, until she quickly recovered, smothering the weakness under a mask. The reaction was intriguing, encouraging Rick to listen closer. But his concentration was broken by the gentle tug of little hands on his shirt. Looking down, he saw the twins peering up at him.

"Daddy," Madeline began, "we need to leave so we're not late." She pointed at the clock. "Mommy says that being on time is important."

Kate's phone call finished and she turned around, void of her previous distress, and smiled at Maddie. "That's exactly right." The woman knelt down and pulled both kids into a hug. She squeezed them against her chest. "I love you guys so much, okay?"

"Love you too, Mommy," they giggled back as they wrapped their arms around her.

Something inside Kate shifted and she wanted to hold onto this moment. She wished there was a way to package it up and save it forever. Because right here, amongst the commotion and weight of life, she still had her twins and Rick, and she never wanted to let it go. Lately, things had been so confusing, but every once in a while, these little slivers of happiness would light her up. Sometimes they were the only thing she could hold on to. Hugging the twins closely, she vowed to herself, if she couldn't fix things today, she'd talk to Rick tonight. They could fix this. If not for herself, she had to do it for the little hearts beating against hers.

"Have a good day at preschool today, all right? I know you're going to have fun and learn a lot," she said as she stood up, pressing a kiss atop each of their heads.

"Was it the case?" Rick asked her quietly.

She nodded, "Suspect's not our guy. His alibi checks. God, but it has to be him. I know it's him." Frustrated, she rubbed her forehead with more force then necessary.

Rick reached out and wrapped her hands in his, preventing her from doing more harm. "You'll get it, okay? You always do. I believe in you," Rick said, smiling at her.

A soft sigh fell from her lips as she looked him in the eyes. "I love you, Castle. I'm going to try to come home on time tonight." The words had grown familiar on her lips, yet today, they felt foreign. She could taste the fabrication. It was unrealistic. She wanted to try, but it felt out of reach. Everything felt so out of reach, spiraling out of control. She was barely hanging on, Rick's "I'm glad. I love you," barely penetrating the heaviness that suffocated her.

…

Anxiety rooted into Kate's stomach for the rest of the day, she couldn't shake it while reexamining the evidence, gazing at the murder board, or interrogating suspects—anything to find that final piece, putting their killer behind bars. When the clock hit seven o'clock, Espo and Ryan convinced—or perhaps 'forced' would be more applicable—her go home. The captain added her own opinion to the argument… apparently Kate looked 'too exhausted to work' and Gates deemed any further investigation inefficient until the detective went home and slept for a few hours. Anyway, there wasn't anything they could do. They'd recovered vital DNA evidence that would give them more time with the killer, but it was stuck in processing, despite being on rush. Their investigation screeched to a standstill. Kate hated waiting. It made her feel restless.

After eventually losing the fight, she threw her stuff into her bag and protested the situation as she walked to the elevator. She wanted to spend time with her family, she _really _did. But the case wouldn't leave her head alone and having to release their suspect—_their killer—_only made her feel worse. Regardless, she rushed back to the loft, nearly tripping over the threshold as she walked inside. _Maybe Castle can help me figure this out, _she thought. His crazy theories had proven semi-helpful before. Throughout dinner, she unconsciously tapped her foot against the floor, offering smiles and adding to the conversation when necessary. She really just needed to talk to Rick alone before this case tore her apart.

It was a little past seven thirty that night, when her chance finally arrived. Rick was upstairs, finishing tucking in the twins after they'd said goodnight to Kate. Within a few minutes, Rick was back in the living room. His eyes immediately drifted to the detective. Bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, she stood by the couch. Her fingers were entwined with her mother's wedding ring around the chain that hung from Kate's neck. She ran the ring back and forth across the chain, her lower lip was pulled between her teeth, her eyes squeezed shut. Her dark lashes stood out against her skin.

"Beckett," Rick said, her stance evoking concern.

At first, the only indication that she'd heard him was a pause in her movements. Finally, after what felt like ages she dropped the ring. It dangled from the chain, gently tapping her chest as it settled. A raise of her head revealed hazel eyes that stared back at him. Begging for help.

She spoke first, surprising him with her confession. "I need help," she said softly, casting her eyes down as if in shame, before glancing up to hold his gaze. The second time, her voice grew in confidence, eliciting slight volume and substance. "I need _your _help."

The feeling of joy that arose when she confided in him was instantly blunted by the hollowness in her eyes and shaky voice that carried the words of her declaration.

"Yeah. Of course," he replied. "What's been bothering you?"

"It's this case," she finally admitted, before drifting off, "Our victim was a mom, her daughter's twenty one, and I…"

"You can't help but relate it to your own mom's case," he filled in, receiving a nod from Kate.

"And we finally got our killer, but we had to release him. We're waiting on DNA evidence, but it could take days, He's still out there, Castle… I can't let him get away. I can't let what happened to me happen to someone else. I just can't do it," she finished. Her fingers raised again to meet her mother's ring as tears brimmed in her eyes. Frustration and grief swirled inside her.

"Oh, Kate." Rick reached out to run his hand up and down her arm, but before he could, she straightened up, her posture growing rigid as her expression hardened. Furiously, she brushed away the hot, salty tears that had spilled over.

"No," she softly. "Stop. I can't do this. I'm okay. This is unprofessional—getting so emotionally involved in a case. I need to pull it together. I'm sorry, this is embarrassing."

"No, Kate, look at me," Rick began, refusing to continue until she lifted her gaze to meet his. "It's not embarrassing, it's human and it's normal, and it's one of the things I love about you; you care. You care so much it breaks your heart. It's this vulnerability that makes you so strong, don't you see it, Kate?" he paused, reaching out to her. Immediately, she was drawn in by his touch. She stepped toward him, so their chests were pressed against one another. He roped an arm around her shoulder.

"You temporarily break your heart so you can permanently fix others'. And that's so noble, so selfless, it's something that makes you so extraordinary. It's what makes you so good at what you do. You care, and you put yourself through hell so families don't have to, so families can have closure. It's brave and honorable and painful. So it's okay to cry and to vent and feel sad."

He felt her nod against his shoulder. "I love you," he finished, moving a hand to rub her back.

"I love you, too," she murmured, falling into silence before speaking up again. "What if I can't get the killer this time?"

"Then you'll know you did the best you could, and sometimes that's the best you can hope for. But I believe in you, and I know for a fact if anyone can solve this case, it's you."

She pulled back from his embrace, a small smile on her lips, in awe of how he always knew exactly what to say. When the soft glimmer of a twinkle reached her eyes, Rick couldn't help but smile back.

"Richard Castle, you are my solid ground," she admitted, appreciation and contentment lacing her voice as she reached out and pulled him back into a firm embrace, deciding that there was no place more comfortable than his arms. "I have no idea what I would do without you."

"Likewise," he said, wearing a smirk that pulled a quiet laugh from the detective's lips.

"Likewise?" she questioned, amusement coloring her words. "That's all you have to say?"

Earnestly, he nodded. "Except that I love you very, _very_ much."

"Likewise," Kate muttered as her loving glare betrayed her front of irritation.

"Maybe 'likewise' is our new 'always," he repeated, his smirk forming into a full mischievous grin, enjoying the change in her demeanor as he felt her relax. Secretly, she appreciated his ability to defuse the intensity of situations they faced too often.

Wrinkling her nose, she said, "I like 'always' better."

"Likewise," he responded, earning a wholehearted groan from his wife. He would have carried on all night, if it could erase the distress that previously radiated off of her.

* * *

**A/N: **Piecing together this chapter took a lot longer than I expected, I played around with possible ideas until I finally settled on this one. It ended up being kind of fun to write-I've always had a weak spot for Castle comforting Beckett :) I hope you enjoyed it and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Also, for the past few weeks I've had an urge to write a multichapter AU (maybe?) fic, but every plot I try to write doesn't work out. If you guys have any prompts you'd like me to take a shot at, I'd be forever grateful and try my best to write your requests.

And... one last thing, l'll be traveling for a while and won't have wifi for quite a few days. However, I'll have my notebook with me and try to get some chapters written. So, there might be a break in updates for a bit, but hopefully I'll have a bunch to post when I get back.

Thank you guys so much for your reviews, follows, and favorites. They mean so much!


	10. Sick Days-Choosing to Stay (Part 3ish)

**A/N:** This is Part 3(ish) to the "Choosing to Stay" chapters. Also, I'm so sorry it took so long to post (at least it's a long chapter!). You probably just want to get to the story, so feel free to skip ahead if you'd like. :)

Just a few days ago, I got back from a wonderful trip to Alaska. It was seriously the best! However, on that note, a majority of this chapter was edited on an hour and a half of sleep (because apparently sleeping on planes isn't my thing). I've tried to review and re-review everything, but as always, all mistakes are mine, so let me know if you find any. :) Special thanks to everyone who's been reviewing/favoriting/following, this story is starting to get a little difficult to come up with plots, but you guys drive me to finish it when I want to procrastinate. Thanks for that, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

* * *

Kate stood against the kitchen counter, a warm cup of coffee in her hands as she finished making Madeline and Max's lunches. She'd been back at work for a little over a week since her injuries. So far, things had been going well. Arriving home on time and being there for every dinner and bath and bed story. They were happy.

"Hey," Rick greeted as he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her from behind.

"Hey," she said, smiling back at him. Recently, since the effects of her injuries were finally starting to fade, she was resuming her role as the earliest riser in the family. Today, she was planning on heading to the precinct in an hour to follow up on a few leads for their latest case.

"How are you feeling today?" Rick asked.

Pulling out of the embrace, she disposed of her mug in the dishwasher and entwined their fingers. "Good," she finally answered. "Much, much better than a few weeks ago."

"I'm happy to hear that," he said, his warm smile conveying the extent of his relief and joy.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Great. But, that'll probably change later today when I have to leave for my meeting with Gina."

His comment elicited a laugh from Kate. "You'll be fine."

"I don't know, Beckett. It's like they're vultures. Plus, I haven't finished that draft they've been asking for."

Rising her eyebrows, she quipped, "Castle, wasn't that due, like, two weeks ago?

He shrugged, mumbling excuses about never getting around to it.

"You were right then. You're so dead."

"What?" he grabbed her from behind, jostling her good-naturedly while remaining cautious of her still-healing ribs. "No sympathy or moral support? You're not going to use some of your authority to protect me? Isn't that your job?"

"Sorry, babe, you're on your own this time," she teased. Yet her hands told a different story as she pulled Rick's between hers, rubbing them softly. The action assured him that she was on his side. That she always would be.

"How serious of injury do you think it'd take to get out of this?"

"Castle!" Kate scolded as sunlight danced across the room, reflecting off the fresh snowfall that coated the street. "You'll be fine."

"Maybe," he finally reasoned. "But promise me one thing?"

Her eyebrows quirked upward.

"If they kill me, you'd find my body, right? You'd catch them?"

Kate rolled her eyes, suppressing the sliver of ice cold that knotted in her stomach as images of a life without Rick surfaced. It wasn't something she ever wanted to consider.

"Always," she told him, emphasizing the word. Their word.

"That's good hear. We all have to get going soon—want me to wake up the kids so you can get dressed?"

"That'd be great. Thank you."

She pressed a kiss to his cheek before they exchanged "I love you's." Rick paused as he reached the top of the stairs, perching on the penultimate step as he fidgeted, seeming almost nervous.

"Hey, Kate," he called back down, pulling her attention. "I just wanted to say you've been doing a really great job lately at everything. And thanks, you know, for being there and trying. It means a lot to me, and the twins too. We're glad to have the Kate we know back. I'd really missed you for a while there. It's good to see your smile again."

Lightness warmed Kate and suddenly the distance between them seemed far too vast. They'd been living in a thin glass box of tiptoeing and finally it shattered. Everything became apparent and simple as it basked in the light of honesty and kindness that only partners could share.

Without a word, she left her position of wavering in the doorway. She bounded up the stairs and crashed into him, almost knocking them over as she flung her arms around his neck.

"What was that for?" he whispered into her hair, chuckling slightly and returning her embrace.

"I'm just feeling really grateful right now. I couldn't have done any of this without you. None of it. Not a single thing. And I don't say thank you enough, but I want to say it now. So thank you, and don't forget it, okay? Thank you so much for sticking with me when it seemed hopeless. I'm so grateful, Castle. And I'm so lucky."

"It's my pleasure."

Closing her eyes, she squeezed tighter, never wanting to forget his touch.

…

"Whom are you calling?" Kate asked as Rick entered the bedroom, fingers hovering over the buttons.

"Gina."

Buttoning up her shirt, she turned around. "What for?"

"Max is sick. I'll stay with him so you don't have to miss work."

"Are you just trying to get out of your meeting?" Kate teased, sending him a smirk across the room.

"Honestly, as much as I'd love to miss this meeting. I've already rescheduled it twice and each time I do Gina grows more homicidal. But Max isn't looking good."

As if on cue, the little boy walked into the room looking bleary eyes and tired. A golden retriever stuffed animal named "Goldie," hung from Max's loosely closed fist. Kate knelt down with open arms. He stumbled against her stomach, wrapping his legs around her waist as she stood up. Immediately, he nestled against her side, pressing his face into the crook of her neck. The heat readiating off his forehead sent concern coursing through her body.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked, bouncing him slightly.

"Don't feel good," he mumbled against her as a funny feeling rolled in his stomach. "Please no bounce."

"I'm sorry," Kate said, pressing a kiss to his forehead and hugging him against her.

She turned toward Rick and took a deep breath. This was her chance; her turning point.

"Hey, Castle, you don't have to call Gina."

"Why's that?"

"I'll stay home with Max."

He didn't want to make a big deal out of the situation but he was so proud of her.

"Aren't you in the middle of a case? Don't you have stuff to do?" he asked, needing to hear her answer. By the little smile blooming across both of their lips, he knew exactly what her response would be.

"Maybe. But this is more important."

He hoped Max heard her say it too. Rick was practically beaming when he caught Kate's eye. His gaze conveyed the happiness he felt. He really couldn't explain it. Lighter somehow, and he could tell Kate felt it too. There was a brightness back in her eyes, her smile, her whole being lit up with the glow. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. Inside and out.

There was a familiar, returning fire in her eyes, flames of determination sending out brilliant sparks. That was his girl, his wife, his partner, and she was completely and utterly back. She'd fought, and now, after suffering and falling and piecing things together again, she'd emerged victorious. She was happy and stronger than before. Rick couldn't be prouder.

"Sounds good," he said. "I'll go check on Maddie. She's eating breakfast now."

The pair shared one last warm, loving look before parting ways.

"You want to lay down?" she asked Max.

"With you."

"I have to call Captain Gates real quick and say bye to your sister before she goes to school. How about you get under the covers and I'll be back in a minute?"

Shaking his head, he clung to her, tightening his arms around her neck and burrowing closer.

"All right, then you'll stay with me?"

Sleepily, he nodded against her skin. His eyes already drooped shut. Kate called Gates, who happily granted the day off, especially since the Captain was still hesitant about Kate's health after the incident. She couldn't have one her best detectives dealing with long term injuries any longer than she had to.

After finishing the call, Kate gently lowered him into her and Rick's bed and tucked the blankets around him.

"I'll be right back, baby," she whispered, kissing him softly.

In the kitchen she was greeted by the scene of a teary-eyed Madeline arguing with Rick. He saw Kate and she watched as he stood up, leaving their daughter at the table as she ate cereal.

"She doesn't want to go to preschool today," Rick explained as he approached Kate.

"Why?" Her brow furrowed. The whole scenario was strange. Madeline was generally easy going and she loved preschool. It was rare to see her arguing with either of her parents, especially about something like that.

Rick shrugged. "I don't know. She won't tell me. You want to take a shot?"

"Sure. Max is asleep in the bedroom, I'll go check on him when I'm done with Maddie. Could you go grab her backpack?"

"Of course. Good luck with Maddie."

"Thanks," she sighed as she turned toward the kitchen table where Madeline was angrily swirling her spoon around her bowl.

Kate pulled out the chair beside her daughter and slid next to her.

"What's going on, baby bird?" Kate asked as she smoothed some of Madeline's hair.

"I don't wanna go to preschool," she said without looking up.

"And why is that?"

The little girl shrugged.

"Come on, Maddie," Kate urged, running a hand over her daughter's back. "You can tell me anything."

Madeline looked up at Kate for the first time that morning. The twin shook her head.

"Why won't you tell me?" Kate asked gently, negative scenarios already swirling through her head.

Maddie sighed. "My reason is dumb."

"Hey, don't say that," Kate said, softly guiding her daughter's chin to look at her. "Nothing you ever have to say is dumb, especially if it's something that's bothering you, okay?"

The little girl gave a brief nod before Kate continued. "And even if you think something you have to say is dumb, you can still tell me and I promise I won't make fun of you. Got it?"

"Yeah," she said as she pushed away her cereal and climbed into Kate's lap, snuggling against her mom's chest and breathing in her cherry scent. Madeline loved it.

"Why don't you want to go?"

Burying her head into Kate's neck, she took a deep breath before quietly mumbling, " 'cause Max isn't going to be there."

_Oh. That made sense actually. _This wasn't a problem they'd seen coming today, but now that the issue was making an appearance it seemed obvious. Of course Madeline would be hesitant—upset even—about separating from Max. Kate and Rick had made a significant effort in assuring that the twins formed their own identities and had things they did without the other, but Madeline and Max consistently gravitated toward each other. They were usually happier in a pair than separated.

Madeline was still talked, spilling her concerns. Genuine worry and sadness bursting from her small form.

"And I've _never _gone to school without him."

"But your friends will be there. You won't be all alone."

Madeline heaved an exasperated sigh against Kate's neck. "They're not Max. It won't be any fun. I won't even be able to _concentrate. _Lunch won't be any fun because we _always _eat lunch together. And we can't play dinosaurs or spies on the playground. I won't have anyone to be my reading partner… we won't be able to share crayons when we color."

Kate loved that her kids were so close, but her heart ached as she witnessed Madeline's distress at separation. The parents would have to work on that.

"You need to go to school, Mads," Kate began as Madeline protested.

"I _can't, _mama."

"Yes you can," Kate said, shifting Madeline so their eyes were locked. "You know how I know that?"

Pouting, the little girl shook her head.

"Because you're brave and you're smart and I've seen you do awesome things on your own, so I _know _you can do this," she finished and tickled Maddie's sides

Immediately, the girl's frown disappeared, replaced by shrieks of laughter as she gasped for breath and begged Kate to stop.

"I did kind of want to go to school today," Madeline said as she wiggled off the seat. "We're doing a science experiment with crayons and the sun."

"See that sounds like fun" the detective started as she slipped Madeline's hand into hers. "You're going to have a great day."

"I know," Madeline said softly.

"There you go!" Kate smiled. "Say it again, once more like you mean it."

"I know I'll have fun!" Madeline shouted, wearing her famous bright grin. The one that made Kate's heart feel like it would burst. She never knew it was possible to love someone so much, but every day Rick, Max and Maddie taught her that it was possible.

"That's my girl."

…

Kate spent the rest of the day with Max. The morning consisted of snuggling in bed as Kate managed to bring down his fever a bit. At one, Kate slipped out to meet Rick before he left for his meeting. After dropping Madeline off at preschool, he'd spent the next few hours feverishly cramming in a couple thousand words before the meeting.

"Hey," she said, leaning up against the doorframe. "How'd you do?"

"Not bad."

He finished putting his laptop into its case. "I might actually survive this meeting."

A soft smile of amusement flickered across her face. An overwhelming wave of appreciation filled her. The feeling was soft and warm and heavy as it spread from her heart to her finger and toes and everywhere in between. It was as if she could feel her heart beating in time with his.

"Well that's good, because I kind of like having you around."

"The feeling's mutual," he replied as he moved around his desk, computer tucked under his arm and phone in pocket. "How's Max feeling?"

"I gave him some medicine when you took Maddie to school, and he's been asleep since."

"Poor little guy. He looked pretty bad this morning."

Kate nodded. "I'm not even completely sure what's wrong with him. He's been sleeping so much. I'll have to wake him up in a few minutes for more medicine."

"I'd honestly love to stay with you two, but I have to head out," he said as he glanced at his watch. "I'll see you in a little bit."

They exchanged a quick kiss, echoing "love you's." far too soon, he was out the door.

Kate returned to the bedroom with a small cup of medicine. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Max's shoulder, rubbing softly until his lashes began to flicker, dancing across his pale skin until they parted. Bloodshot, glassy eyes were revealed, before hiding beneath a long blink.

It took a record one second for his wide eyes to register his mother's presence as he peered up at her. Lethargically, he moved into her lap. Wordlessly inserting himself into her arms, wanting nothing more than his mom when he felt icky.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, her lips brushing against his cheek as he nestled closer.

Rising in a lazy shrug, his shoulders conveyed his response. He didn't feel like talking, he just wanted hugs from his mom. And maybe to watch Lilo and Stich or Scooby Doo. That never hurt either.

"You have to help me out a little, buddy," Kate said as she repositioned him and put the small cup of medicine on the nightstand. "What hurts?"

Her breath tickled his skin slightly and he pressed his face into her neck. "My head and my tummy." He looked at her through pained hazel eyes and she wished she could take his sickness away. In a heartbeat she would take it on herself, if it would provide him even a little relief.

"Everything feels bad," he finally admitted.

There were multiple things that could have conveyed that to Kate; the fact that he'd taken his medicine without more protest than a halfhearted glare—something he may of accidently picked up from his mom. In the moment, it might have been comical to Kate, if her baby wasn't hurting. Then, she could have considered that he'd refused lunch, even when she offered to make his favorite meal of mac 'n' cheese, dinosaur chicken nuggets and apples.

…

When Rick finally whirled through the front door with Madeline in tow—happily chatting about her science experiment—Kate was infinitely happy and relieved. At this point in parenthood, she'd handled enough sick days to manage and comfort her ill kids. But, she struggled to figure out when it was necessary to take her kids to the doctor, and when it was overbearing.

However, having raised Alexis, Rick was a pro at determining when a medical trip was needed. It was a skill Kate hoped she'd soon acquire.

Madeline was still bursting with excitement as she walked around the living room, hands moving in animated gesticulations to accompany her school day spiel. Their girl could really talk when she wanted.

"Max!" Maddie said, jumping around, little feet shuffling in a flurry of uncontainable enthusiasm when she spotted him on the couch.

The poor boy woke with a start, glancing around groggily. Madeline carried on conversation quietly after her parents reminded her about lowering her voice. Moments later though, neither Kate nor Rick missed the sight of Max's eyes lighting up as Madeline relayed the day's events, telling her brother how much they'd all missed him and that she'd figure out a boy named Daniel was also "good at playing dinosaurs," and another kid, Sara, made an "awesome spy." The parents would never tire of watching their twins interact that way—all smiles and giggles and sentences stated so quickly—rushed by excitement—that only the other twin could understand.

…

After dinner was finished, Madeline had set herself up on the counter and was happily drawing, while Kate and Rick joined Max on the couch where he'd taken residence. Max sleepily raised his head to look at them before curling back up. Reaching from beneath his blanket, he slipped his hand into Kate's.

"How are you feeling, buddy?"

"Still hurts," he mumbled breathily, twisting against her side, soaking up as much warmth and love as he could. And there was no better place to do that than from his parents. He shivered again and let out a soft whimper, squeezing himself even tighter between Rick and Kate.

"I'm sorry," Kate said while she brushed hair off his hot, clammy skin, a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

"You'll feel better soon, Max," Rick said. "We'll be back to beating Mom and Maddie at lasertag in a little bit."

"You wish!" both of his girls stated in unison, and he bit back a laugh as Maddie's voice carried from the kitchen, mixing with Kate's.

His smile disappeared, however, as he and Kate shared a look of concern over Max's lack of amusement or any response really. A few minutes into the movie, Max stiffened. His exhausted body straightened up. Immediately, Kate and Rick looked at him.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked.

Tears welled in Max's eyes. "I don't feel good, I—"

Before he could finish, his stomach heaved, expelling its few contents, mostly small amounts of liquid that Kate had convinced him to drink throughout the day.

"Sorry," he said once his shoulders stopped shuddering from vomiting, now they shook with tears, feeling guilty for making a mess on the blanket, and feeling physically horrible.

"Hey, it's okay, Max, no big deal," Rick said, picking the little boy up and wiping his tears. "Let's go get you cleaned up and then I think we're going to take a quick trip to the doctor." Shooting Kate a glance, he received an affirmative nod.

After transporting the blanket to the washer (it was the only thing he'd thrown up on, thank God), Kate washed her hands and walked over to the kitchen.

"Come on, Maddie, time for bed," Kate said, running a hand over her daughter's hair.

Madeline sighed and started packing up her markers before following Kate to bathroom to shower and brush teeth. Once they were finished, Madeline got dressed while the detective slipped out to send Rick a quick text to see how everything was going at the after-hours pediatric care. Returning back to Madeline's bedroom, Kate saw the pajama clad girl already snuggled up in bed. A small pile of books had assembled on her nightstand, and a very large cluster of stuffed animals nearly hid her face. Her favorite—a small, worn pug, named "Puggy"—was sitting on her shoulder, touching her cheek as her right hand held it. At some point while she was in bed, the thumb of her left hand had gravitated toward her mouth, a habit Kate and Rick had been trying to break.

"Don't suck your thumb, honey," Kate gently reminded as she settled onto the bed.

Madeline dropped her thumb and cuddled against Kate's side, preferring her mom anyway. Seven pages into Maddie's favorite Dr. Seuss book and she was fast asleep, her soft breath steady and warm against Kate's skin. Once the mom was entirely sure her daughter was asleep, Kate slipped off the bed and turned off the bedside lamp. After leaving the door cracked, she tiptoed out of the room.

Fifteen minutes after her own shower, the door of the loft peeked open. Rick entered, a sleeping Max slumped on his hip and against his shoulder.

"It's the flu," Rick mouthed, motioning to Max. "He just fell asleep."

Kate nodded. "Let him sleep with us tonight?"

"I was thinking the same thing," Rick said.

…

It was only a few hours later when the door creaked open, soft gold light spilling in, casting long shadows across the bedroom. The movement woke Kate and she shifted upward, her eyes adjusting to the darkness.

Standing in the doorframe, Madeline wavered, her lips formed in a pout.

"You don't feel good, sweetie?" Kate asked, knowing how her kids reacted to being sick, and knowing that when one twin was sick the other was usually just a few hours behind.

Madeline nodded, as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Oh, don't cry, Maddie, it's not a big deal. We're going to make you all better." Kate slid out of bed and gathered the girl in her arms, taking her to the kitchen to get some medicine.

And that's how Kate and Rick woke up six hours later, the four of them snuggled up in bed. The parents knowing that the only thing they would change was their kids' sickness.


	11. With Sprinkles

"Maddie, wake up," Max said, leaning over his sister's bed and shaking her lightly. She mumbled in her sleep, her words muffled by the sheets as she shifted to face the wall.

It was the third time Max had tried to wake her, so he decided more drastic measures were definitely necessary. He turned on the lamp by her bed and jumped onto the mattress, bouncing beside her.

"Come on, Maddie! Get up! Get up!" He cheered excitedly, bending his knees and pushing hard to jump higher.

"Max, stop," she groaned, reluctantly opening her eyes and hitting him with a pillow. He tumbled down beside Maddie before rolling over and staring at her, a toothy grin present on his face.

"What?" she asked, squinting in the artificial light, fighting off a smile at her brother's crazy antics. She still wasn't happy about being woken up so early.

"It's Daddy's birthday," he began. Madeline's eyes lit up immediately as Max continued, "We're surprising him with breakfast, remember?"

She nodded enthusiastically, shooing him off the bed and flicking off the lights as they ran out of the room, their bare feet tapping quietly against the wooden floor as they entered the kitchen.

"What should we make?" Max asked, pulling Maddie closer to him and whispering in her ear.

"A bunch of things," she said, pressing against the light switch until a warm glow filled the room.

"I want to make him a sandwich."

"You can't make a sandwich for breakfast, that's wrong."

"Is not!"

"How about cereal?"

"With sprinkles!" Max added, giggling as he took out a bowl, liking the idea. " 'Cause sprinkles make things special."

"Exactly." Maddie nodded in serious agreement as she shuffled through the cabinets and appeared next to Max with a box of Lucky Charms in one hand and rainbow sprinkles in the other.

"We should add ice cream instead of milk since they're kind of the same, but ice cream's better."

"And whipped cream?"

"Always whipped cream."

A giggle filled the room as the five-year-old twins climbed onto the chairs they'd pulled over. They worked together to tip the cereal box over and fill the bowl, "taste testing" a few marshmallows to make sure they were of proper standard.

"Max! You're pouring too much," Madeline laughed as cereal tipped over the side of the bowl. She wrestled the box from his hands and pushed it to the side. "We need room for ice cream."

"I can do it." Max produced a spoon from the draw to his left and opened up the ice cream container. He piled a rather liberal amount to the top of the cereal as Maddie added the sprinkles, oblivious to the fact that only half of the sprinkles were making it onto their masterpiece, the other half finding their way to the floor and kitchen counter.

Suddenly, she turned to Max, her little brown eyes sparkling with something mischievous. "I dare you to drink sprinkles." She judged the container, about a quarter of its contents remained. "Pour the whole thing into your mouth."

He narrowed his eyes, and she lifted a brow, spurring him on.

"Fine." With small fingers, he took the bottle from her, pouring it into his mouth and wrinkling his nose. He laughed happily, mumbling "too much" as sprinkles fell from his lips.

"Eww! Max!" Madeline shrieked through a smile at the rainbow mess on his face.

He finally swallowed, looking up happily. "You made me do it."

She shrugged. "You wanted to."

"I'm going to put whipped cream on you now, okay?" He said nonchalantly, picking up the bottle and pulling off the cap.

"No!" Madeline yelled, the chair screeching as she jumped off it, seeking refuge behind the counter. A second later Max was kneeling over her, whipped cream posed over her nose. They were both giggling madly, wrestling over the bottle. Max was seconds away from claiming victory when they heard footsteps. Two small heads snapped over to the source of the sound.

"Mommy!" Madeline cheered as she recognized an escape and scurried from underneath Max, throwing her arms around Kate's pajama clad legs, hiding behind them and peeking out at Max.

"Hey, sweetie. What are you guys up to?" Kate asked, already growing leery of the situation that was unfolding.

"We made Daddy breakfast for his birthday," Max piped up helpfully, as he scooted out from beneath the chair and attempted to ditch the whipped cream on the kitchen counter.

"With whipped cream?" Kate questioned with a raised brow.

"We made him the best cereal ever," Maddie said, appearing from behind Kate and grabbing her hand.

"It's Lucky Charms with ice cream and whipped cream _and sprinkles_!"

Kate took a deep breath, there was a reason she tried to discourage Castle from giving the twins ice cream before bed. "Wow," she said, eyes widening as they led her into the kitchen. It was incredible how two tiny people could make such huge messes.

"Isn't it cool?" Max asked as he pointed at a cereal bowl on the kitchen island. Kate followed his gaze, settling on the sugary mass. _Cool _was definitely not the first word that came to mind. Maybe _how _or _why _or a mild profanity, but definitely not _cool. _It was, um… innovative?

"Do you think he'll like it?" Maddie inquired, pushing up on her tiptoes to get a full view of their creation.

Rick would love it. Overgrown child that he was. Kate couldn't fight the smile that curled her lips. "Yeah, I think he will. How about we make some eggs too? Because we like being healthy."

Maddie and Max nodded enthusiastically. "But we need to put Daddy's breakfast in the fridge, so it's still yummy when he wakes up."

"All right. Well, I'll take care of that and make the eggs, and you guys can clean up this sprinkle tornado we've got going on, okay?"

"Okay!" the twins agreed happily.

Half an hour later, Rick entered the kitchen to a chorus of 'happy birthday's. Kate was about to offer him some eggs and toast when Madeline opened the fridge.

"Daddy, we made you something special!"

Max grabbed the bowl and put it in front of Castle. "Here you go! It's the most fantastic cereal ever and we added sprinkles, because they're the best and you're the best."

"No way! Thanks you two," Castle said, pulling them into a hug while he caught Kate's eyes.

"I made eggs," she said. "Nutritional value and all."

He wrinkled his nose and pointed at the sugary pile in front of him, stinking out his tongue as he said, "Theirs looks so much better."

Kate rolled her eyes, leaning over to give him a quick kiss. "Happy Birthday, Castle."

* * *

**A/N:** ...I'm back! Sorry for the long absence, life was going on and there was a lull in inspiration for a while. However, school has started up again and there's just something about impending due dates and loads of homework that inspires me to write... hmm. Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter. Hopefully the next one will be longer with a little more substance. If you have any prompts please send them in! Also, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. :)


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